Over 417,000 Hours Of Private Presidential Conversations Discovered After No One Remembered To Turn Off Richard Nixon’s Tape Recorder

WASHINGTON—Baffled as to how the potentially disastrous mistake could have gone unnoticed for so many years, White House sources confirmed Friday that roughly 417,225 hours of private presidential conversations were discovered immaculately preserved due to the fact that no one remembered to turn off Richard Nixon’s…

Habitat For Humanity Investigated For Working Conditions After 92-Year-Old Laborer Collapses On Site

WASHINGTON—Responding to an unsettling incident that has raised concerns about worker exploitation within the organization, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration announced Friday it was launching an investigation into working conditions within Habitat for Humanity after a 92-year-old laborer reportedly…

Psychologists Advise Practicing Words ‘President Trump’ Over Next 2 Months To Prepare For Inauguration

WASHINGTON—Explaining that people needed to get started soon if they wanted to be ready by January 20, the American Psychological Association issued a statement Friday advising Americans to practice saying the words “President Trump” every day over the next two months in order to prepare themselves to use the phrase…

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