Oct 19News In Photos10/19/20News In Photos10/19/20Label Of Prescription Shampoo Shamefully Turned To Face Wall
Oct 16The Topical10/16/20The Topical10/16/20L’Oréal Introduces New Smudge-Proof Lipstick Able To Withstand Getting Hit By BusL’Oréal’s new FaceSmash collection guarantees not to blotch or smear even after you’ve been pancaked by a 20-ton bus…
Oct 8News In Photos10/8/20News In Photos10/8/20Kay Introduces New Bracelet That Comes In Ring Box For Disappointing Girlfriend
Oct 5News in Brief10/5/20News in Brief10/5/20Nike CEO Steps Down In Disgrace After Footage Emerges Of A Guy Running Really Slow While Wearing Their SneakersBEAVERTON, OR—Taking full responsibility for the devastating failure, Nike CEO John Donahoe resigned under a cloud…
Oct 1News in Brief10/1/20News in Brief10/1/20Lowe’s Unveils New Hide-A-House Disguised As Giant Plastic BoulderMOORESVILLE, NC—Hailing the new product as a simple but effective home security solution, the hardware chain Lowe’s…
Aug 19News in Brief8/19/20News in Brief8/19/20‘Why Not?’ Asks New Glossier Ad Introducing Blush For Butt CheeksNEW YORK—In what industry observers are hailing as the most innovative product launch to date, popular skin care and…
Aug 13News In Photos8/13/20News In Photos8/13/20Sterilite Unveils New 200-Bushel Laundry Basket For People Who Prefer To Put Off Washing Their Clothes Indefinitely
Aug 12News in Brief8/12/20News in Brief8/12/20Weirdly Pro-Life French’s Ad Says Embryo Can Taste America’s Favorite Mustard As Early As 6 WeeksSPRINGFIELD, MO—Prominently displaying various warnings, including that “the cravings begin at 18 days,” French’s…
Jul 29The Topical7/29/20The Topical7/29/20Fisher-Price Announces Company Has Grown Out Of Making Stupid Toys For BabiesThey want to make cool toys for big kids, like video games and airsoft guns. But is the company best known for…
Jul 24News in Brief7/24/20News in Brief7/24/20Country Time CEO Unsure If Company Supposed To Be Racist Or NotCHICAGO, IL—Admitting that they had made no significant progress in understanding where they stood in the present…
Jul 13News in Brief7/13/20News in Brief7/13/20KitchenAid Unveils New Lobster Sedation Kit To Reduce Cruelty Of Boiling Them AliveBENTON HARBOR, MI—Advertised as an essential home appliance for any seafood lover, KitchenAid unveiled Monday the…
May 27Slideshow5/27/20Slideshow5/27/2010 Breathtaking Photos That Perfectly Capture The Unwavering Spirit Of ScissorsThis incredible picture depicts the powerful scissors in all their steadfast, sharp glory.
May 21The Topical5/21/20The Topical5/21/20Benadryl Introduces New Controlled Coma Pills To Sedate Users For Entirety Of Allergy SeasonFollowing today’s FDA approval for over-the-counter use, Benadryl’s new Sedate Plus could soon be alleviating your…
May 20News in Brief5/20/20News in Brief5/20/20Report: 0.004% Of Carbon Pollution Caused By Manufacturing Of ‘Mars Needs Moms’ Promotional ApparelNEW YORK—Directly linking a small but measurable amount of environmental damage to the production of the animated…
May 8News5/8/20News5/8/20Incredible Security: The Xbox Series X Will Deter Would-Be Burglars By Emitting A Rotting Crab Smell At All TimesMicrosoft just launched the first real volley in the next-gen wars! To cap off yesterday’s impressive Xbox Series X…
Apr 29News in Brief4/29/20News in Brief4/29/20Other Butter Companies Scramble To Fill Racism Void Left By Land-O-LakesHACKENSACK, NJ—Quickly rebranding their packaging with images of the Trail of Tears and the Ku Klux Klan blood drop…
Apr 21News In Photos4/21/20News In Photos4/21/20Supply Chain Breakdown Forces Ford To Leave Millions Of F-150s Rotting On Vine
Apr 21News in Brief4/21/20News in Brief4/21/20Man Reminds Self Woman On Chiquita Banana Sticker Only Smiling At Him Because That’s Her JobLITTLE ROCK, AR—Putting a stop to things before he got carried away with any fanciful notions that she was into him,…