Offended Mark Meadows Reminds Colleagues He Never Once Complained About Capitol’s Integrated Drinking Fountains
WASHINGTON—Defending himself against recent charges of racism, Rep. Mark Meadows (R–NC) angrily reminded his colleagues…
Every Baby Boomer In Country Urged To Resign After Photos Emerge Of Them In Blackface
WASHINGTON—With pressure mounting on members of the generation to step down amid accusations of racism, sources…
Masked Vigilante Takes Terrorizing Black Community Into Own Hands After Local Law Enforcement Fails To Do So
ABINGTON, PA—Frustrated that his local police precinct was shirking responsibilities, a masked vigilante confirmed…
Open-Ended New Bill Criminalizes Whatever Black People Up To Right Now
WASHINGTON—Saying the measure would provide a substantial boon to police departments nationwide, members of the House…
White Supremacist Living Fulfilling Racist Life Since Getting Kicked Offline
YELLOW BLUFF, AL—Emphasizing how important it was for his well-being to cut the cord and start harassing more…
‘Paw Patrol’ Writers Defend Episode Where German Shepherd Cop Shoots Unarmed Black Lab 17 Times In Back
LOS ANGELES—Explaining that their goal has always been to hold a mirror to society, whether focusing on the power of…
Police Officer Wouldn’t Have Killed Black Man If He Knew Everyone Would Make Such A Big Fuss About It
MILWAUKEE, WI—Expressing his deep and heartfelt regrets regarding how the incident has played out in the media,…
Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man Let Off With A Promotion
CHATHAM, MO—Concluding their investigation into the cop who fatally shot an unarmed black man during a September 2017…
Black Man At Walgreens Impressed By How Attentively Employees Tailing Him
PHILADELPHIA—Saying he would not have been able to shake the eagle-eyed clerks even if he had wanted to, local black…
Black Twins Always Get Mistaken For Random Black People
PHILADELPHIA—Explaining that it started with their grade school teachers calling them by countless other wrong names,…
ABC Criticized For Unrealistic Portrayal Of Racists Actually Facing Consequences
PHILADELPHIA—In response to the abrupt cancellation of the hit series Roseanne the media watchdog group FactCheck.org…
Report: All The Other Races Coming To Take Your Stuff
ITHACA, NY—A report published Monday by the Cornell University Department of Sociology revealed that all the other…
Woman Nervously Reaches For Cell Phone As Suspicious Black Man Tells Her Today’s Soup Is Minestrone
SACRAMENTO, CA—Claiming she had been keeping a cautious eye on him from the moment she sat down, local woman Rebecca…
Impoverished Kenyan Bean Picker Can’t Wait To See What Starbucks Has To Say About Racial Sensitivity
NYERI, KENYA—Reacting to news that Starbucks will close more than 8,000 locations for a day to conduct…
Black Father Gives Son The Talk About Holding Literally Any Object
NORRISTOWN, PA—Deciding his firstborn was old enough to learn about the cultural dangers of having things in his hands,…
Law Enforcement Questions Why Alton Sterling Was Even Black In The First Place
BATON ROUGE, LA—Following the Louisiana Attorney General’s conclusion that the victim’s shooting death at the hands of…