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Prince Harry Engaged To Woman Who Will Never Love Him The Way 29-Year-Old Idahoan Graphic Designer Jennie Hoffman Does

LONDON—Missing out on a life of deep commitment from the only person who truly understands his heart, Prince Harry revealed Monday his engagement to a woman who will never love him the way 29-year-old Idaho resident and graphic designer Jennie Hoffman does. “We are delighted to announce the engagement and upcoming…

Frustrated Man Can’t Believe He Can Still Hear Construction Worker Hammering His Wife At This Hour

FRANKFORT, KY—Wondering if he’d even get a minute of sleep with all that racket, local man Ted Hinze told reporters Friday that he can’t believe he can still hear a nearby construction worker hammering his wife at this hour. “Christ, it’s past ten o’clock and this asshole is still going at it,” said an exasperated…

Report: 42% Of Relationships Begin With Leaning Over Apartment Balcony To See Beautiful New Neighbor Watering Zinnias Below

PITTSBURGH—Saying that millions of couples owe their relationships to the unforgettable chance encounter, a report published Wednesday by the University Of Pittsburgh found that 42 percent of romantic partnerships begin with someone leaning over their apartment balcony to discover the beautiful woman who just moved in…

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