THE HEAVENS—Admitting that He almost couldn’t bear to look at those old speeches from his Nazareth days, the Lord Jesus…

SOUTH BEND, IN—Noting that students felt increasingly ambivalent about assuming celestial roles, researchers at the…

MACCLENNY, FL—Calling its clearly laid out regulations “surprisingly refreshing,” conservative Floridian man Ernest…

THE HEAVENS—Urging Christians nationwide to “Buy! Buy! Buy!” on Thursday, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Lord of…

VATICAN CITY—Standing before his costumed congregants in St. Peter’s Basilica, Pope Francis declared, “Take this grape…

LANGHORNE, PA—Saying that she could sense Satan within them the moment they walked through the door, Sunday school…

CALHOUN, GA—Admitting that he certainly likes the son of God but “doesn’t exactly love the guy, per se,” self-described…

THIMPHU, BHUTAN—Noting that the season seemed to come earlier and earlier every year, local Bhutanese man Sangay…

VATICAN CITY—Claiming the vestments represent a vital step in ameliorating the church’s centuries-long history of…

TEHRAN, IRAN—Expressing consternation and disgust at the Man Booker Prize winner’s latest offering, Ayatollah Ali…

WASHINGTON—Deeply troubled by the communication received from a divine messenger, Mike Pence was reportedly struggling…

VATICAN CITY—In response to criticism of his handling of the Catholic Church’s ongoing child sex abuse scandal, Pope…

HEAVEN—Condemning the heretical rejection of His divine will by a blasphemously underweight mankind, God declared…

NINTH CIRCLE, HELL—Stressing that the situation in the underworld was quickly spiraling out of control, Satan, the…

VATICAN CITY—Following a Pennsylvania grand jury’s report on widespread sexual abuse of children by priests and a…