WASHINGTON—Increasingly optimistic that the callousness they required would be locked down by the September 30 deadline, GOP leaders were confident Wednesday that they will have the cruelty necessary to pass their new healthcare bill. “While we were nearly there on our previous attempts, with this go-around we’re all…

WASHINGTON—Telling Americans this was the kind of leadership and accountability they could expect from the GOP, congressional Republicans held a press conference Monday to celebrate making good on their 2009 promise to block the president’s healthcare bill. “Eight years ago, our party made a solemn pledge to do…

WASHINGTON—As a growing number of interest groups, politicians, and media outlets continue to voice criticism of the proposed American Health Care Act, a report published Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found it was totally unclear if opposition to the bill from every last sector of American society would have any…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to address concerns about the affordability of coverage, Republican congressional officials advised Americans Monday to set aside the income from one of their jobs to pay for healthcare costs under the newly introduced American Health Care Act. “Under this bill, you would simply set up a…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to allay concerns over how the abrupt removal of Obamacare would impact millions covered by the legislation, House Republicans pledged Tuesday that they would not dismantle the healthcare law without first putting in place a detailed and comprehensive plan for disposing of patients’…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reassure citizens ahead of a planned effort to overhaul the U.S. healthcare system, Republican congressional leaders promised Monday that Americans would still be able to keep their current medical conditions if the Affordable Care Act is repealed. “Whatever health problem you have right…

DENVER—Growing increasingly unsettled at the president-elect’s choice of advisors and the prospect of life under a Donald Trump administration, local resident Paul Austin told reporters Monday he was at the point where the thought of Reince Priebus controlling the White House was actually fairly comforting. “The way…

PARADISE, NV—Reminding viewers of the agreed-upon rules before the start of Wednesday’s third presidential debate, moderator Chris Wallace explained that the rest of the GOP would be given two minutes after each response by Donald Trump to distance themselves from the Republican nominee. “Each candidate will be given…

WASHINGTON—Saying they felt physically sickened by the notion that the lewd and disturbing comments weren’t enough to draw harsh condemnation on their own, the daughters of the nation’s GOP leaders reportedly stated Sunday that it’s “pretty fucked up” if they are the only reason their fathers are denouncing Republican…

WASHINGTON—Following on the heels of other troubling revelations that have forced a growing number of Republican leaders to distance themselves from the embattled candidate, a damning video reportedly surfaced Sunday morning showing Donald Trump accepting the GOP nomination for president. “The video that emerged this…

WASHINGTON—Breaking into a smile as he read the words “inclusiveness” and “young voters,” RNC chairman Reince Priebus couldn’t help but shake his head in amusement Wednesday while flipping through an 18-month-old briefing on the Republican Party’s plans for the 2016 election, sources reported. “Oh man, I completely…

WASHINGTON—Having failed to prevent Donald Trump from securing their party’s presidential nomination despite a deliberate and concerted effort, members of the Republican establishment admitted being quietly relieved Thursday that the GOP was no longer their responsibility. “Boy, we were really struggling there for a…

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

‘It’s Him,’ Stunned Conservative Leaders Mutter