Oct 26News in Brief10/26/20News in Brief10/26/20Republicans Rushing To Confirm 6 More Supreme Court Justices Before ElectionWASHINGTON—Explaining that they were under a tight deadline, Senate Republicans told reporters Monday they were…
Aug 26News in Brief8/26/20News in Brief8/26/20RNC Forced To Pad Out Final Nights Of Convention With Illegitimate Trump ChildrenCHARLOTTE, NC—Short on time and bereft of any better options, organizers of the Republican National Convention were…
Aug 25News in Brief8/25/20News in Brief8/25/20‘Oh Jeez, Oh Jeez, Oh Jeez,’ Says Eric Trump After Accidentally Bringing Father’s Sexual Assault Victims To RNCCHARLOTTE, NC—Rocking from one foot to another while fanning his fingers in anxiety, Eric Trump was overheard saying…
Aug 25News in Brief8/25/20News in Brief8/25/20RNC Audience Chilled By Tim Scott’s Ominous Story Of Black Man Who Rose To Position Of PowerCHARLOTTE, NC—Admitting that the terrifying details would likely give them nightmares for weeks, Republican National…
Aug 21News in Brief8/21/20News in Brief8/21/20Congressional Republicans Grill Postmaster General Over Mailboxes Censoring ConservativesWASHINGTON—Demanding to know why the receptacles showed such political bias, congressional Republicans reportedly…
Aug 23 2019News in Brief8/23/19News in Brief8/23/19Aides Struggle To Stop Dozens Of Kerosene-Soaked Republicans From Lighting Selves Ablaze Atop David Koch’s BodyWICHITA, KS—Urging calm as the wailing conservative politicians jostled for a place at their deceased benefactor’s…
Dec 20 2017News in Brief12/20/17News in Brief12/20/17GOP Leaders Celebrate Decisive Win Over AmericansWASHINGTON—In the wake of the $1.5 trillion tax bill’s historic passage in both the House and the Senate, GOP…
Dec 6 2017News In Photos12/6/17News In Photos12/6/17RNC Taps Dennis Hastert To Lead New Youth Outreach Program
Dec 5 2017News in Brief12/5/17News in Brief12/5/17New RNC Ad Endorses Roy Moore: ‘He’s A Scumbag, But He’s Our Scumbag’WASHINGTON—Recognizing that he’s a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve to walk the face of the earth yet was still on…
Sep 20 2017News in Brief9/20/17News in Brief9/20/17GOP Leaders Confident They’ll Have Cruelty Necessary To Pass Healthcare BillWASHINGTON—Increasingly optimistic that the callousness they required would be locked down by the September 30…
Mar 27 2017News in Brief3/27/17News in Brief3/27/17GOP Makes Good On 2009 Promise To Block President’s Healthcare BillWASHINGTON—Telling Americans this was the kind of leadership and accountability they could expect from the GOP,…
Mar 14 2017News in Brief3/14/17News in Brief3/14/17Report: It Unclear Whether Opposition From Every Sector Of American Society Will Have Any Effect On Healthcare Bill PassingWASHINGTON—As a growing number of interest groups, politicians, and media outlets continue to voice criticism of the…
Mar 13 2017News in Brief3/13/17News in Brief3/13/17GOP Recommends Americans Set Aside Income From One Of Their Jobs To Pay For Healthcare Under New BillWASHINGTON—In an effort to address concerns about the affordability of coverage, Republican congressional officials…
Mar 7 2017Infographic3/7/17Infographic3/7/17Obamacare Vs. The GOP’s New Health PlanObamacare: Those who don’t obtain health insurance are penalized
Jan 17 2017News in Brief1/17/17News in Brief1/17/17Republicans Vow Not To Repeal Obamacare Without Detailed Plan For Disposing Of Patients’ Disease-Ridden CorpsesWASHINGTON—In an effort to allay concerns over how the abrupt removal of Obamacare would impact millions covered by…
Jan 9 2017News in Brief1/9/17News in Brief1/9/17GOP Promises Americans Will Be Able To Keep Current Medical Conditions If Obamacare RepealedWASHINGTON—In an effort to reassure citizens ahead of a planned effort to overhaul the U.S. healthcare system,…
Nov 14 2016News in Brief11/14/16News in Brief11/14/16Man At Point Where Thought Of Reince Priebus Controlling White House Pretty ComfortingDENVER—Growing increasingly unsettled at the president-elect’s choice of advisors and the prospect of life under a…
Oct 19 2016News in Brief10/19/16News in Brief10/19/16Moderator Explains That GOP Will Have 2 Minutes After Every Trump Response To Distance Selves From CandidatePARADISE, NV—Reminding viewers of the agreed-upon rules before the start of Wednesday’s third presidential debate,…