The Inventory

Biggest Revelations From The Mueller Report

‘Boating World Magazine’ Giving Live Updates As Its Team Of Reporters Reads All Of Mueller Report

Report: You’re Far Too Dumb To Be Reading The Mueller Report Yourself

Barr Releases Catatonic Mueller After Removing All Sensitive Material From Special Counsel’s Brain

William Barr Agrees To Release Nonverbal, Abstract Visual Representation Of Mueller Report

4/12/19 12:06PM

Mueller Kinda Miffed That Barr Clearly Didn’t Read His Stuff Like He Said He Would

Compassionate Trump Issues Full Presidential Pardon For Robert Mueller

William Barr Declares Mueller Investigation Fully Exonerates Members Of Reagan Administration From Iran-Contra Involvement

Mueller Gives Up Trying To Get Report Published After Receiving 19th Literary Agent Rejection

2/28/19 10:08AM

Mueller Admits A Smarter President Would’ve Totally Found Way To Stop Investigation By Now

2/21/19 12:03PM

Mueller Annoyed By Chipper, Overeager Adam Schiff Constantly Sending Him Evidence He’s Already Uncovered

2/08/19 12:51PM

Report: Mueller Investigation Nearly Done With First Day Of Trump Campaign

1/29/19 12:18PM

‘Don’t Make Me Regret This,’ Mueller Tells Rick Gates Before Uncuffing Him To Work On Investigation Together

Exhausted Robert Mueller Turns Off Phone To Give Himself Breather From Russia Probe News Over Holiday Break

12/21/18 11:48AM

Frazzled Robert Mueller Walking Around With Piece Of Russia Investigation Document Stuck To His Shoe

12/18/18 12:37PM

Depressed Mueller Wonders What It Is About Him That Makes Everyone Lie To Him

11/27/18 5:08PM

Mueller Annoyed By Dipshit Protestors Holding Up Traffic During Commute

11/08/18 5:05PM

Mueller Wondering Why There All This Drama Over Trump’s Unpaid Parking Violations

11/08/18 12:24PM

Trump Wakes Up Covered In Dozens Of Small Cuts After Being Chased Through Dreams By Razor-Blade-Fingered Robert Mueller

10/05/18 11:34AM

‘The Investigation Ends Now,’ Growls Shadow Counsel Holding Mueller By Throat At Top Of Washington Monument

9/26/18 10:27AM

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