Dec 4News in Brief12/4/20News in Brief12/4/20Singapore Approves First Lab-Grilled ChickenSINGAPORE—Hailing it as a major step in changing humanity’s prevailing forms of meat consumption, Singapore on…
Oct 19News in Brief10/19/20News in Brief10/19/20NASA Builds 4G Tower On Moon Tastefully Disguised As Pine TreeWASHINGTON—Sharing impressive first images of the newly installed network, NASA officials confirmed Monday they had…
Oct 12News in Brief10/12/20News in Brief10/12/20NASA’s Hubble Telescope Captures Rare Sight Of 2 Galaxies MatingBALTIMORE—Calling the images “a stunning glimpse into how the vast star systems of the universe procreate,” NASA…
Oct 1News in Brief10/1/20News in Brief10/1/20Scientist Can’t Forgive Himself For Pressuring Mouse To Try Drugs For The First TimeATLANTA—Expressing his deep regret for the effects of his past actions, scientist Gabriel Foster admitted to…
Sep 23News in Brief9/23/20News in Brief9/23/20NASA Scientists Confirm Earth Dating The MoonWASHINGTON—Following years of speculation by the world’s foremost astronomers, the National Aeronautics and Space…
Sep 17News in Brief9/17/20News in Brief9/17/20New SVEN Initiative To Help Young Girls Become Swedish Scientists Who Ski Snowy SlopesSTORLIEN, SWEDEN—Stressing the campaign would provide more academic and deep-powder opportunities for female…
Sep 9News in Brief9/9/20News in Brief9/9/20Aliens Pointedly Ignoring METI Transmissions Thought Scientists Would’ve Gotten Hint By NowGLIESE 581 G—Noting that their lack of response to interstellar radio messages seemed pretty obvious, aliens…
Aug 31News in Brief8/31/20News in Brief8/31/20Facebook Purchases Oculus VR For Another $2 Billion After Forgetting They Already Bought It In 2014MENLO PARK, CA—Describing the move as a long-term investment in cutting-edge technology, social media giant Facebook…
Aug 19News in Brief8/19/20News in Brief8/19/20Apple Brings Back Pistol Emoji For Users Who Complete Gun Emoji Safety CourseCUPERTINO, CA—Reaffirming the company’s commitment to responsible texting, Apple announced plans Wednesday to bring…
Aug 17News in Brief8/17/20News in Brief8/17/20Short-Staffed NASA Sets Up Shifts For Everyone In Country To Take An Hour Looking Out For Asteroids Headed Toward EarthWASHINGTON—Announcing they were understaffed and needed all citizens to pitch in, NASA confirmed Monday that…
Jul 13News in Brief7/13/20News in Brief7/13/20Physicists Hail Major Breakthrough After Discovering Neutrinos Just Little Italian NeutronsCHICAGO—Confirming the search for the mysterious Godfather particle was finally over, physicists at the University…
Jul 10News in Brief7/10/20News in Brief7/10/20Silicon Valley Billionaires Unveil Diversity Initiative To Replace 60% Of Own Blood With Transfusion From Young People Of ColorPALO ALTO, CA—Guaranteeing that candidates from a wide array of backgrounds would play part in helping them live…
Jun 17News in Brief6/17/20News in Brief6/17/20NASA Launches Paparazzo Rover In Beverly Hills To Search For Signs Of Salacious Celebrity LifeBEVERLY HILLS—Emphasizing that the mission would finally give humans unprecedented access to juicy, A-list action,…
Jun 16News in Brief6/16/20News in Brief6/16/20Scientists Discover Mysterious Radio Transmission From Space That Repeats 50-Minute Intervals Of Nonstop Classic Rock BlocksMOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Expressing excitement over what could be a landmark discovery in the search for extraterrestrial…
May 28Slideshow5/28/20Slideshow5/28/20Top 9 Black Plague FAILSBetter come quick, Doc, these sick people are REALLY burning up!
May 6News in Brief5/6/20News in Brief5/6/20Elon Musk Debuts New Self-Parenting ChildPALO ALTO, CA—Proudly showing off his latest innovation, Tesla CEO Elon Musk debuted an all-new self-parenting child…
Apr 8 2020News in Brief4/8/20News in Brief4/8/20NASA Launches Vengeance Rover To Pay Back Mars For Killing Opportunity Back In 2018CAPE CANAVERAL—Calling it the first purely revenge-based mission to ever be attempted on the red planet, NASA…
Apr 6 2020News in Brief4/6/20News in Brief4/6/20Scientists Announce They Have Probably Successfully Taught Sign Language To SnakesBALTIMORE—Saying the probable linguistic accomplishment could very well constitute a scientific breakthrough,…