As my one true girl, you know that I crave your love. I need it like a woodworker needs the perfect slab of mahogany. Like a sculptor needs obsidian. Like the stars need the night. If I had to travel 3,000 miles with various layovers at small regional airports that have little to no amenities just to be with you, I…
This past year was a tough time for Smoove. You may remember that early on in the year, my favorite white silk suit was ruined by my dry cleaner. Not only did this mean losing one of my freshest outfits, but it also meant having to search for a new cleaner, as the trust between us had been broken beyond repair. The…
You and I have been together for some time now and for this I am grateful. Your face, your body, and your professionally styled hair have brought joy to my life once again. You make me smile, girl.
Many assume spring to be Smoove’s favorite season, the season when he feels most on his game. Others think it’s summer, when the women are at their finest, or winter, when the weather’s so cold you must hold your girl tight to stay warm. These people do not know Smoove or his thoughts on the seasons. For this love…
Tonight will be like no other. Tonight, Smoove welcomes you into his penthouse. This is a place you have been before, but those nights have been for seduction and romance. Tonight is different. Tonight is about love.
It is time.
As I write this to you, Smoove is in pain. This is not the heart pain I expose to the world week after week in this column. No, today Smoove is in body pain. If I may be perfectly honest, it is quite a bit of body pain.
It has been an unusual time for Smoove.
Lately, Smoove has had much on his mind.
Watching the seasons change puts Smoove in a reflective state of mind. When Smoove becomes reflective, he begins to ponder the essential nature of romance. Many have noticed that my thoughts on this subject have become deeper over the years and, perhaps, more spiritual. Some have even gone so far as to call me the…
A word of warning: The following column could very well blow your mind. Smoove urges you to read it with the utmost caution.
Smoove is not a political man. However, during the most recent election, something changed for Smoove. He has found a purpose. A new desire.
Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat.
Girl, when I thought of you getting married to some other man, I nearly went out of my mind. As you know from the many voicemails I left on your machine, I did little during this time but cry out in anguish while lying on my circular bed. But when I heard this fiancé of yours was arrested for tax evasion shortly…
Girl, while it has been almost two years since we broke apart, not a second goes by that you are not on my mind. As I have written many times in my column, the thought of you spending time naked next to this other man has caused me nothing but pain. You are my everything, girl. If we were to get back together now, we…
Girl, if there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me break it down for you: It is time for you to get Smooved.
If you knew how much pain I am in while I write this column, you would read it all the way to the end and be moved by the heartache in every word. Each sentence contains the pain of my soul, and in particular the part of the soul that yearns for you but has been pushed aside.
Baby, my world is empty since you shut me out of your life that night. Things were so good between us. Open up your heart to me once again, and I will walk in and make you feel like twice the woman you are without me. All I need is one more chance. If you would give me that chance, I know I could make things right.
Please don't be upset, baby.