LOW EARTH ORBIT—Maintaining that he is always the one wiping ectoplasm off the zero-gravity toilet at the end of the…
HOUSTON—Apologizing for the destruction wreaked by the invasive species, NASA announced Thursday that the Moon is now…
PASADENA, CA—According to panicking officials at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, the new InSight lander successfully…
HOUSTON, TX—Predicting that the upcoming lunar looks would delight stargazers all over the world, astronomers confirmed…
SATELLITE BEACH, FL—Referring to the Apollo 11 spaceflight and lunar landing as a “walk in the park,” astronaut Buzz…
President Trump is apparently moving forward on his controversial proposal to create a space force as the sixth branch…
WASHINGTON—Admitting that a second-hand retelling would not do their findings justice, NASA scientists confirmed…
WASHINGTON—Feigning polite interest throughout the 90-minute meeting, Pentagon officials from all five branches of the…
NEW YORK—Slamming the pixelated video as “ludicrous” and having no basis in real-life physics, astrophysicist Neil…
PARIS—Shortly following a transmission sent by the Mars Express spacecraft verifying that its instruments had detected…
WASHINGTON—Revealing that the physical world could no longer bear the weight of numerous contradictory realities,…
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Stunned by both the sheer good fortune of their discovery and its implications for future…
GENEVA—A coalition of scientists at CERN announced this morning that the Universe, the accumulation of matter and…
WASHINGTON—Saying the groundbreaking discovery could help shed new light on the history of the Red Planet, NASA…
MARS—In a desperate attempt to make up for years of aimless planetary wandering, the Curiosity Rover spent most of…
WASHINGTON—In an effort to make the solar system’s central star look as badass as possible, NASA officials announced…
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Explaining that the immense pressure and heat within the cabin had proved too much for their fragile…
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