Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy
SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes,…
SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes,…
NEW YORK—Cautioning players to think twice before taking any more big swings at the plate this season, the MLB warned…
PHILADELPHIA—Pushing back on the NFL’s efforts to increase the number of prime-time broadcasts, sources confirmed…
ANN ARBOR, MI—Boasting that an incredible unplanned shot perfectly captured the true nature of the Michigan football…
NEW YORK—In an effort to improve overall safety for both competitors and spectators, NHL officials issued a warning…
TAMPA, FL—Moving aside the plastic tubs full of Christmas ornaments and cardboard boxes of old books stored in his…
OXFORD, OH—Sources confirmed Saturday that ESPN sideline reporter Laura Rutledge is acting like it is no big deal that…
LIVONIA, MI—Eliciting a chorus of mumbles and reluctant encouragement from the crowd, sources reported Thursday that a…
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Saying the rookie running back was merely “working through something,” members of the Minnesota Vikings…
WEST LAFAYETTE, IN–Michigan holder Garrett Moores is fucking sick of giving little pep talks to his team’s kicker every…
NASHVILLE, TN—Stressing the importance of the fan base’s health and wellbeing, Vanderbilt University chancellor…
SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore…
OAKLAND, CA—Saying that team doctors had confirmed their worst fears after initially seeing the color commentator pull…
CHICAGO—Disappointed and irritated by his half-hearted display of fandom, sources reported Tuesday that local man Paul…
NEW YORK—Demonstrating their callous indifference to human suffering, the cruel broadcast gods ripped away CBS’ bonus…
BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam…
NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports…
NEW YORK—Calling the inhumane treatment a disgrace to the MLB and all of its consumers, a disturbing new report…
CHICAGO—Standing several feet back as they tossed a ground-up, blood-soaked mixture of beef and pig meat toward the…
DES MOINES, IA–After exhaustive testing of nearly every style and design on the market, the Callaway 9 Iron was once…
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