Sep 18
Scientists Study Brains Of Baseball Fans To Find Out How They Stay Interested During First 7 Innings
SEATTLE—Revealing that the mystery has baffled scientists for the past hundred years, researchers at the University…
Sep 17
Gary Borkowski, Onion Sports resident fantasy football expert and former NFL concessions worker, shares surefire…
Sep 15
LOS ANGELES—Breaking through to accomplish what so many doubters never thought he could do, LeBron James finally…
Oct 18 2017
SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these…
Oct 16 2017
NEW YORK—Cautioning players to think twice before taking any more big swings at the plate this season, the MLB…
Oct 12 2017
PHILADELPHIA—Pushing back on the NFL’s efforts to increase the number of prime-time broadcasts, sources confirmed…
Oct 11 2017
ANN ARBOR, MI—Boasting that an incredible unplanned shot perfectly captured the true nature of the Michigan football…
Oct 4 2017
NEW YORK—In an effort to improve overall safety for both competitors and spectators, NHL officials issued a warning…
Oct 3 2017
TAMPA, FL—Moving aside the plastic tubs full of Christmas ornaments and cardboard boxes of old books stored in his…
Sep 30 2017
OXFORD, OH—Sources confirmed Saturday that ESPN sideline reporter Laura Rutledge is acting like it is no big deal…
Sep 28 2017
LIVONIA, MI—Eliciting a chorus of mumbles and reluctant encouragement from the crowd, sources reported Thursday that…
Sep 26 2017
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Saying the rookie running back was merely “working through something,” members of the Minnesota…
Sep 23 2017
WEST LAFAYETTE, IN–Michigan holder Garrett Moores is fucking sick of giving little pep talks to his team’s kicker…
Sep 21 2017
NASHVILLE, TN—Stressing the importance of the fan base’s health and wellbeing, Vanderbilt University chancellor…
Sep 17 2017
SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore…
Sep 17 2017
OAKLAND, CA—Saying that team doctors had confirmed their worst fears after initially seeing the color commentator…
Sep 12 2017
CHICAGO—Disappointed and irritated by his half-hearted display of fandom, sources reported Tuesday that local man…
Sep 10 2017
NEW YORK—Demonstrating their callous indifference to human suffering, the cruel broadcast gods ripped away CBS’…
Sep 7 2017
BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam…
Sep 5 2017
NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports…