Timeline Of The U.S. Supreme Court
The highly controversial recent confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court marks an especially divisive…
Kavanaugh Blasted For Destroying Reputation Of Good Man
WASHINGTON—Decrying the tactics as a smear campaign against an exemplary judge, Republicans blasted Brett Kavanaugh…
Dick Durbin Wakes Up Chained To Radiator With Instructions To Saw Open Own Stomach To Access Kavanaugh Report
WASHINGTON—Stirring from his chloroform-induced stupor to discover a handwritten note shoved inside his pocket, Senator…
Clinton Laughs Off Idea She Politically Savvy Enough To Launch Revenge Campaign On Kavanaugh
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Brushing aside insinuations that she had anything to do with the rancorous confirmation process, former…
Kavanaugh Starting To Get Worried About Not Hearing Back After Job Interview
WASHINGTON—Frantically pacing around his home, pausing only to refresh his email inbox and check his phone’s call log,…
Newly Sober Kavanaugh Introduces Sponsor Who Says He Needs Supreme Court Seat As Part Of Recovery
WASHINGTON—Explaining that the lifetime appointment would provide vital structure and purpose, newly sober Brett…
Mark Judge Can’t Believe That Fucking Lightweight Kavanaugh Got ‘Boofing’ And ‘The Devil’s Triangle’ Wrong
BETHANY BEACH, DE—Shaking his head in frustration as he read about the testimony given by his old high school friend to…
Kavanaugh Impressed By Hazing Rituals Before They Let You Join Supreme Court
WASHINGTON—Admitting he was surprised by all the tasks required of him in order to enter the prestigious organization,…
Kavanaugh Claims He Never Committed Sexual Assault As It Will Be Defined After Future Supreme Court Case
WASHINGTON—Speaking before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Brett Kavanaugh defended himself against accusations of…
Trump Regrets Choosing Kavanaugh After Supreme Court Nominee Keeps Talking About How Much He Respects Women
WASHINGTON—Suddenly rethinking his selection amid an already tumultuous confirmation process, President Donald Trump…
Kavanaugh Sobering Up After 35-Year Bender Shocked To Find Out He’s Supreme Court Nominee
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly confused as he slowly adjusted to his surroundings, Brett Kavanaugh was reportedly…
Kavanaugh Says It’s Super Embarrassing And Sad That Christine Blasey Ford Still In Love With Him
WASHINGTON—Saying the continued attention from his former flame was beginning to border on obsession, Supreme Court…
GOP Officials: Kavanaugh Shouldn’t Be Held Accountable For Something He Did As White Teenager
WASHINGTON—Vehemently defending the Supreme Court nominee against recent allegations of sexual assault, GOP officials…