Nov 26VideoOnion Info Clips11/26/20 VideoOnion Info Clips11/26/20How We’re Celebrating Thanksgiving In The Coronavirus Pandemic
Nov 26News In Photos11/26/20News In Photos11/26/20‘Addison, Say Hi!’ Announce Nation’s Aunts Momentarily Pointing Webcam On Surly 13-Year-Old Cousin
Nov 26News in Brief11/26/20News in Brief11/26/20Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of LifeSAN DIEGO—Lying on the couch in his cramped, poorly lit apartment, local man Mark Borkowski was reportedly having…
Nov 26News in Brief11/26/20News in Brief11/26/20Nation’s Relatives Call For Little Zoom Tour Of Your ApartmentCARROLLTON, TX—Declaring “Ooh, yes” and “Let’s see,” the nation’s relatives reportedly called for a little Zoom tour…
Nov 26News in Brief11/26/20News in Brief11/26/20Nation Even More Unsure Than Usual Whether To Hug CousinSCOTTSDALE, AZ—Stressing that the present atmosphere only raised further questions about the greeting method,…
Nov 25News in Brief11/25/20News in Brief11/25/20Parents Allow Excited Children To Tear Open One Turkey For Thanksgiving EveATHENS, GA—Beaming as the youngsters rushed down the stairs and threw open the oven doors, parents Jack and…
Nov 25The Topical11/25/20The Topical11/25/20Humane Society Urges Americans To Opt For Shelter Turkey This ThanksgivingHear why some animal activists are asking people to consider giving one of the thousands of lonely turkeys trapped…
Nov 24News in Brief11/24/20News in Brief11/24/20CDC Shuts Down Thanksgiving Travel By Carrying Out Simultaneous Attacks On All Of Nation’s Airports, Train StationsATLANTA—Stressing that staying home this year had become far and away the safest option available, the Centers for…
Nov 23News in Brief11/23/20News in Brief11/23/20Historians Say That First Thanksgiving Wasn’t Total Fuckfest That’s Taught In SchoolsCAMBRIDGE, MA—Urging the nation to keep the event’s actual history in mind, researchers at Harvard University issued…
Nov 23News in Brief11/23/20News in Brief11/23/20Mom Explains New Wildly Ill-Informed Measures To Keep Family Safe During ThanksgivingHOLLYWOOD, FL—Calling her dinner plan “foolproof” despite varying significantly from recommendations issued by the…
Nov 17News in Brief11/17/20News in Brief11/17/20Mom Completely Understands That Coming To Thanksgiving Is Risky And That You Don’t Love Her AnymoreKANSAS CITY, MO—Acknowledging that she had seen all the warnings about holiday travel on the news, local mom Mary…
Dec 2 2019News in Brief12/2/19News in Brief12/2/19Nation Returns To Regular Workweek A Little More Kind, A Little More Thoughtful, A Little More ThankfulWASHINGTON—Getting back into their routines with a renewed outlook on life after the long holiday weekend, the…
Nov 28 2019News in Brief11/28/19News in Brief11/28/19Child Decides To Become Vegetarian After Forming Close Friendship With Roasted Turkey LegSOMERVILLE, MA—Touching on the immediate emotional connection he shared with the piece of poultry, 4-year-old Kyle…
Nov 28 2019News in Brief11/28/19News in Brief11/28/19Thanksgiving Conversation Devolves Into Just Stating Things Dog Is Currently DoingPITTSBURGH—After two hours in which they discussed a variety of routine topics with waning enthusiasm, the local…
Nov 22 2018News In Photos11/22/18News In Photos11/22/18Macy’s Concludes Thanksgiving Day Parade With Traditional Procession Of Santa’s Coffin
Nov 22 2018News In Photos11/22/18News In Photos11/22/18Mom Dishing Up Her Famous Comments About Your Body This Thanksgiving
Nov 22 2018News in Brief11/22/18News in Brief11/22/18Everyone At Thanksgiving Doing Chore To Get Away From Rest Of FamilyPHOENIX, AZ—Unanimously insisting that the 17 separate tasks would only take a moment and be no trouble at all, each…