Apr 21 1999
BRIDGEPORT, CT—Local police officials are "utterly baffled" by a bottle-shaped paper bag that local resident Jimmy…
Apr 21 1999
LODI, NJ—The moist, brownish pile on the Gehrke living-room floor is either cat food or cat shit, it was reported…
Apr 21 1999
SEATTLE—According to reports, computer analyst Isaac Glenn, who earns $120,000 a year organizing and upgrading…
Apr 21 1999
JACKSON, MS—As far as local resident Nate Childress can tell, the "brief nudity" promised in the HBO original movie T…
Apr 21 1999
PAWTUCKET, RI—With global famine worsening, Hasbro pledged an additional 30 white marbles Monday to hippo-hunger…
Apr 21 1999
Apr 21 1999
You know how, every so often, something you haven't thought about in the longest time will just sort of pop up out…
Apr 21 1999
Apr 21 1999
Alarmed by the development of nuclear weapons in China, North Korea, Iran and Iraq, Congress recently approved a…
Apr 21 1999
SAN JOSE, CA—More than four months after the couple's break-up, Jeff Knolpe continues to miss total hell-bitch…
Apr 21 1999
Apr 21 1999
Well, John Law had caught up with us at last. His gun drawn, the sheriff's deputy told us that a farmer had alerted…
Apr 21 1999
Apr 21 1999
Grossing $73 million in its first two weeks, The Matrix is blowing away all challengers at the box office. Why is…
Apr 21 1999
SHREVEPORT, LA—According to reports, Sean Boyce, a member of the Jefferson Avenue McDonald’s team, may be doing it…
Apr 21 1999
WASHINGTON, DC—Citing “America’s unprecedented prosperity and stability” and “this one part where this ship is…
Apr 21 1999
ARLINGTON, TX—Following a brief meeting Saturday, members of the Ridgeway Circle Homeowners Association confronted…
Apr 21 1999
ATLANTA—According to surprised neighbors, area resident Adam Brown doesn't look Jewish. "It's weird," said Kathleen…