Comedian Confesses To Killing Them Out There
ROYAL OAK, MI–Stand-up comedian Tony Campanelli confessed Monday to the Feb. 26 killing of 180 comedy-club patrons…
Alex Trebek Deftly Prolongs Agonizing Small Talk
BURBANK, CA–Alex Trebek, host of the popular quiz show Jeopardy, deftly prolonged a mid-show chat with contestant Paula…
Local Welder Suffering From Welder's Block
EASTON, PA–Area welder Bruce Meacham admitted Monday that he is suffering from a severe case of welder's block. "I know…
Hillary's Last Name Dropped From Senate Race
ONEONTA, NY–Ending weeks of speculation, Hillary Clinton's campaign manager confirmed Monday that the Democratic…
Area Girlfriend Still Hasn't Seen Apocalypse Now
AZUSA, CA–In a discovery prompting exasperated forehead-slapping and stunned expressions of incredulity, Mark Tillich…
Violence On Ice
On Feb. 21, Boston Bruins defenseman Marty McSorley was suspended for the rest of the season for a savage stick hit to…
Ask A Close Personal Friend Of Teri Garr
My husband and I drive our kids to school, band practice, friends' houses, soccer games–you get the picture! I want my…
An Open Letter To Pope Pius X
Dear Pope Pius, or Leo, or Boniface, or what-ever you're calling your-self these days,
FBI To Require Background Checks For Child-Care Providers
WASHINGTON, DC–Taking measures to improve the safety and welfare of America's children, the FBI unveiled a sweeping new…
Windows 2000
Microsoft recently released its new Windows 2000. What are some of the features of the new operating system?
People Don't Like It When You Call Them Stupid
Boy, you try to help people out, but sometimes they can just be so sensitive. Especially over a little thing like being…
Nation's Teens Disappointed By Banned Books
WASHINGTON, DC–Huckleberry Finn, Slaughterhouse Five, and The Catcher In The Rye are just a few of the many banned…
CNN Headline News Reporter Unafraid To Face The Cold, Hard Factoids
ATLANTA–In an interview in the March issue of Brill’s Content, CNN Headline News anchor Lynne Russell described herself…
Bag Of Potatoes Desperately Searching For Dirt
OWOSSO, MI–The potatoes in a 10-pound bag of Michigan Pride Russets were discovered in the throes of death Monday,…