Child 'Very Sorry' For Slapping Teddy Bear
CARY, NC—Arthur Hollis, 8, delivered a heartfelt apology to his favorite, most-special teddy bear, Raymond, after…
Noisy Upstairs Neighbors Wake Man At 3 P.M.
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—The inconsiderate residents of the apartment above Jim Bracker, 23, woke him from a sound slumber…
Girl Slept With For Her Sake
TULSA, OK—University of Tulsa sophomore Ben Stoll was gracious enough to sleep with third-year law student Rosie…
University Implicated In Checks-For-Degrees Scheme
ANN ARBOR, MI—The University of Michigan has become the 17th institution of higher learning to be implicated in the…
Does Iran Pose A Threat?
While Iran did free the British sailors it detained last month, the country is still threatening to restart its nuclear…
Why No One Want Make Hulk 2?
X2 come out last year. Spider-Man 2 come out last month. Both great sequels to great movies about Hulk friends. Hulk…
Report: Scientists Still Seeking Cure For Obesity
CHICAGO, IL—In spite of billions of dollars spent and decades of research, scientists at the University of Chicago said…
Sheepish Secret Service Agent Can't Explain How Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Got Into Oval Office
WASHINGTON, DC—Secret Service agent Martin Bowhan was unable to explain to his direct superior how Electrolux sales…
Bill Maher Spends All Night Arguing With Republican Hooker
LOS ANGELES—Sources close to Bill Maher report that the comedian and host of HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher spent…
Series Of Serial-Killer Killings Rocks Serial-Killer Community
INDIANAPOLIS, IN—The recent murders of six serial killers have shaken the serial-killer community to its core, ushering…
Man, That Mourning Really Did The Trick!
Hey, have any of you guys ever tried mourning? Like, after someone close to you passes away? Oh my God, you have to.…