Because of intense competition, most retailers will likely be selling the new Harry Potter book at cost or less in the first week of its release. What do you think?
DALLAS—A western honeybee measuring barely one-quarter of an inch in length and weighing approximately .03 ounces triggered panic among a gathering of six fully-grown Homo sapiens during a picnic at Davis Park on Monday, witnesses reported.
ALDERWINE, MO—Cracker Barrel CEO Michael Woodhouse announced Tuesday that the restaurant and retail chain would expand to a new location out by Highway 18, near the Harmon Road turnoff.
Hippies Celebrating 'Fuck-Summer' `67
Google, the popular search engine, is under fire for having the worst privacy practices on the web. What do you think?
CLEVELAND—Frustrated by the results of the first three NBA Finals games, Cavaliers head coach Mike Brown told reporters at a Tuesday press conference that his team has been losing simply because they're being "outvictoried." "Just look at the numbers—they're outwinning us, they're outdefeating us, they're outbettering…
BELLINGHAM, WA—After watching his beloved Seattle Mariners prevail against the San Diego Padres, third-grader Timmy Hastert was moved to ask his father, 46-year-old insurance salesman Christopher Hastert, why interleague play is "good." "Well, it lets people see the teams they normally don't get to see all that often,…
Dr. James W. Holsinger, Jr., Bush's nominee for Surgeon General authored a 1991 medical paper arguing that homosexuality is unnatural and unhealthy. What do you think?
ST. PAUL, MN—Following the successful completion of a large collating project, administrative supervisor Becky Szafranski announced plans to skedaddle earlier than usual Friday.
OAKMONT, PA—The membership at Oakmont Country Club informed PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem yesterday that they will not be denied their regular, weekly tee times simply because the U.S. Open is scheduled to take place there this week. "I'm a dues-paying member here, have been for 25 years," said 17-handicapper Dr.…
As Braves manager Bobby Cox approaches the all-time record for ejections from games, Onion Sports remembers baseball's all-time best on-field tantrums:
NEW YORK—Though they were written off at the beginning of the season, the underdog New York Yankees refuse to succumb to their obvious lack of money and talent and have managed to put together a six-game winning streak to remain in contention with the far superior Boston Red Sox. "What you are seeing right now from…