CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Despite having never visited outer space before in his life and being completely free from the everyday demands of work, family, and gravity, space tourist Dick Knowles spent his entire 19-day, $7 million vacation holed up inside the space shuttle Atlantis, sources reported Monday.
Carter to Congress: ‘What’s Your 20, Good Buddy?’
Anticipating a move back home, the percentage of Mexicans sending money to family in their native country fell from 71 percent last year to 64 percent. What do you think?
IRVINE, TX—Audience members at Saturday's self-help lecture series "Success 1-2-3" were shocked to discover that professional motivational speaker Martin Vaughan was not always the well-dressed, successful man standing onstage, but was once, in fact, "just like [them]."
DAYTON, OH—A day of web surfing poetically ended just as it began Monday, when a random string of links brought area man Howard Nagel back to the same Facebook page on which he started nine hours earlier.
In the face of numerous U.S. economic woes, the Chinese government has expressed their confidence in the strength of the dollar, dispelling speculation that they would sell off their $1.33 trillion in foreign reserves holdings. What do you think?
DOVER, DE—Model Sherri Rawlings, 24, told reporters yesterday that she has a "lingering feeling" that, for the past week, she has been standing naked in front of a junior high school civics class.
TULSA, OK—Though Tiger Woods told reporters he was "pleased" to win the PGA Championship last Sunday, the 13-time major winner said he was also deeply annoyed that Sam Alexis, his two-month-old daughter, was "not even paying attention" when Woods sank his tournament-winning putt on the 18th hole. "I was happy that she…
The release of the new Madden videogame has become an event in its own right. Onion Sports lists everything players can get excited about in '08, not counting roster changes:
ST. LOUIS, MO—Fearing that free-agent defensive end Simeon Rice would not like their team because the facilities "aren't nice enough," the "stupid old stadium is too small," and that their "dumb team uniforms look stupid," the St. Louis Rams found themselves too embarrassed to express interest in the three-time…
SHANGHAI—Houston Rockets and Chinese national team center Yao Ming, 7'6", married his longtime 6'3" girlfriend, Ye Li, last week in a ceremony for which Yao wrote nuptial vows praising, among other things, the top of Ye's head. "Ye, my beloved, to glimpse the onyx brilliance of the top of your head sends through me…
TEHRAN—Mere days after being named a U.S. State Department Goodwill Ambassador and Special Sports Envoy by Condoleezza Rice, baseball Hall of Famer and consecutive-games-played record holder Cal Ripken Jr. triggered a nuclear war between Iran and United Nations forces Tuesday night. "I was just explaining to that Mr.…
WASHINGTON, DC—Calling last December's execution of Saddam Hussein "anticlimactic," White House officials announced Monday their intention to hang the late Iraqi dictator again this year in an attempt to garner a more favorable response from the public.
DENVER—Husband and father of three Hank Glass, 37, told reporters Monday that his life finally has a purpose now that he has met that special someone else, 42-year-old waitress Debra Nelson.
Recent incidents, including a bridge collapse in Minneapolis and a steam tunnel explosion in New York City, have brought the nation's aging infrastructure into the spotlight. What are some of the country's major problem areas?