Right To Own Guns Upheld
In its first interpretation of the Second Amendment in 80 years, the Supreme Court overturned Washington D.C.'s gun…
George Takei To Wed Partner
Following California's legalization of gay marriage, George Takei, best known as Sulu on Star Trek, has applied to…
Straight Men, Gay Women Have Similar Brains
Swedish researchers have found that the brains of straight men and lesbians display many of the same characteristics.…
Local Bar Comes Out As Gay
SEATTLE—After years of trying to deny the obvious and fit in with other downtown establishments, area bar Mad Hatters…
Gay Guy's Gay Thing Well Attended
ROCHESTER, NY—According to gay sources, local gay guy Joshua Norstrand's latest gay dance party or art thing was…
Bisexual's Parents Half-Understand
EVANSTON, IL—The parents of recently admitted bisexual Jeremy Lambert said they completely half-understand their…
Confiscated Patriots Videotapes Contain Extensive Footage Of Tom Brady Showering
NEW YORK—The hundreds of hours of game and practice scouting videotapes that league officials seized from the New…
WNBA Season Highlights
Onion Sports looks back at the best moments from the 11th season of women's professional basketball:
Thought Of Cross-Dressing, Joining LPGA Briefly Crosses David Duval's Mind
DENVER, CO—Though he is currently taking a brief sabbatical from golf to spend time with his family, David Duval once…
Gay Marriage Could Be Profitable
According to a report from the city's comptroller, New York City would stand to gain $142 million in the first three…
Where Do Homosexuals Get All Their Energy?
Boy, am I beat. And it's not like I have some crazy life where I'm working three jobs and going to night school. No, I…
Area Man Has Sex With Man To Get Out Of Office Blood Drive
ABBEVILLE, GA—In an effort to devise a plausible reason to excuse himself from an office-wide blood donation drive this…