Woman Always Really Excited To Be In Whatever Relationship Status She's Currently In
KINGSPORT, TN—Just six months after claiming she was ecstatic about moving in with her boyfriend, and a mere eight…
McCain's Energy Plan Emphasizes Elbow Grease, Sleeve-Rolling-Up
HOUSTON—While campaigning in Texas Monday, Sen. John McCain delivered a speech outlining his personal energy policy, a…
Ron Paul Endorses Third Parties
Former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul has refused to endorse Sen. John McCain or Sen. Barack Obama, calling…
Obama Suddenly Panicked After Gazing Too Far Into Future
MADISON, WI—Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) fell deathly silent in the middle of a speech on education before the Wisconsin…
Nation Hit Hard
NEW YORK—Faced with several tough factors, the nation has once again been hit hard, sources reported Tuesday. "It is…
Female Fans Out For Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury
FOXBOROUGH, MA—More than 90 percent of female football fans were lost for the season on Sunday when New England…
Mets Invite Phillies Back To Shea Stadium For A Nightcap
NEW YORK—After spending a casual afternoon together playing a day game, the New York Mets approached the Philadelphia…
Chinese Womens' Paralympic Team Under Investigation For Having Arms, Legs
BEIJING—After numerous protests and accusations of foul play from Paralympic athletes, especially those participating…
Notable Sports Injuries
Tom Brady's season-ending knee injury certainly changed the complexion of the NFL season, but it isn't the first time a…
ESPN Holds ‘SportsCenter’ Of Silence For Tom Brady
BRISTOL, CT—Cable sports network ESPN aired a special hour-long SportsCenter of silence yesterday from 11 p.m. to 12…