Area Man Already Tired Of Prison
SHERIDAN, OR—After spending 73 hours in the Sheridan Federal Correctional Institution in northwestern Oregon,…
Genetic Experiment Goes Horribly Right
PASADENA, CA—A grotesque and unsettling genetic experiment in which human corneal tissue was grown on the backs of…
Asian Teen Has Sweaty Middle-Aged-Man Fetish
AOMORI, JAPAN—At first glance, 17-year-old Misaki Nakajima seems like any other shy and submissive Japanese schoolgirl.…
Octuplets Doing Well
The second set of octuplets born in the United States is doing well, with all reportedly breathing on their own. What…
Bouncer Moved To Tears By Tale Of Friends Already In Club
CHICAGO—Zenith Lounge bouncer Keith Murphy, 25, openly wept Saturday after hearing the heart-wrenching story of two…
Football Players Suffering Brain Damage
Doctors have found a type of brain damage usually associated with boxers in six NFL players who died at age 50 or…
Greatest Individual Super Bowl Performances
1967: Packers receiver Max McGee plays the entire Super Bowl, catching seven passes for 138 yards and two touchdowns…
Kurt Warner Requests HBO Be Blocked At Cardinals' Hotel
TAMPA BAY, FL—Cardinal quarterback Kurt Warner asked the management of the Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay to block access to…
Steeler Defense Renamed 'Mid-Level White-Collar Curtain' To More Accurately Reflect Contemporary Pittsburgh
TAMPA BAY, FL—Just days before the Super Bowl, the Pittsburgh Steelers' public relations department announced that the…
Super Bowl XLIII Spontaneously Breaks Out On Media Day
TAMPA BAY, FL—In what started as a midfield photo opportunity between opposing team captains and ended as a hard-fought…
Laid-Off Pittsburgh Mill Worker To Put Off Suicide Until After Super Bowl
PITTSBURGH—Recently laid-off steelworker and football fan Marcus Aniello announced that he would postpone his impending…