Tim Duncan Reports 5th Straight Successful New Year's Resolution
SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan confirmed Monday that since he had not put off answering e-mails once during the…
Jimmie Johnson Goes Out For Nice 180 MPH Drive To Clear His Head
CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying he was "still stressed out" from the tension of winning his fifth consecutive Sprint Cup, Hendrick…
Florida Names Charlie Weis New Fat Offensive Coordinator
GAINSVILLE, FL—The University of Florida Gators confirmed Monday that former fat Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis will…
Modern-Day Cowboy Rides 18-Wheeler Full Of Entenmann's Products Westward
SOLOMON, KS—Awakening to the lonely howl of a distant coyote early Tuesday morning, C.J. Hoppel climbs into his…
Revamped WPA To Create 50,000 New Jobs By Disassembling, Reassembling Hoover Dam
WASHINGTON—In an effort to boost the economy and promote job growth, representatives from the newly revived Works…
Robert Gibbs Stepping Down
While House press secretary Robert Gibbs announced he would be leaving his position as White House press secretary to…
NFL Playoffs 2010
As the playoffs begin, Onion Sports offers an analysis of each team's chances to win it all.
Seattle Coach Pete Carroll: Seahawks Only Need 3 Losses To Reach Super Bowl
RENTON, WA—Just a day after Seattle became the first team with a losing record to make the playoffs, a jubilant and…
Colts Tap Quarterback Peyton Manning To Start Playoff Game
INDIANAPOLIS—Indianapolis Colts head coach Jim Caldwell told reporters Thursday he has decided to start 13-year veteran…
The High Reis: Parking Garage Near Heat Arena Very Confusing
I decided to check out a Miami Heat game this week. I went with reporter's credentials so I could get in for free and…
I'm Only Really Happy When I'm Writing, Or When I'm Having Lots Of Fun With My Friends And Family
I guess you could say I have always had a love affair with the written word. The simple, solitary act of contemplating…
FCC To Fine Americans Who Don't Keep Up With TV Shows
WASHINGTON—Announcing that it would no longer allow Americans to fall behind, the Federal Communications Commission…
New 'Huckleberry Finn' Edited For Language
A new edition of the Mark Twain classic Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, forthcoming next month from NewSouth Books,…