Taylor Harris
Leukemia sufferer Taylor Harris passed away Sunday afternoon, mere seconds after the Minnesota Vikings and the…
Secretary Of Interior Decks Smart-Ass Buffalo
LIMON, CO—Saying the 1,800-pound bovine had it coming, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar decked a wise-ass bison…
Dripping Wet 7-Year-Old Gets On Hotel Elevator
ATLANTA—An elevator at the Airport Ramada Inn was boarded Friday afternoon by a dripping wet 7-year-old child, sources…
Horrible Boogie Boarding Accident Leaves Man Totally Bummed Below The Neck
ENCINITAS, CA—Local boogie boarder Kevin McLean was hospitalized Friday following an accident that left the 25-year-old…
Defense Secretary Warns Of Cyber Terrorism
Warning that Internet worms and malware could devastate the U.S. power grid, transportation network, and financial…
Toyota Issues Its Largest-Ever Recall
Toyota has recalled 7.4 million automobiles worldwide, including 2.5 million in the United States, amid reports that a…
King Hippo's New Boxing Gym Allows 8-Bit Teenagers To Get Off Pixelated Streets
NEW YORK—Former World Video Boxing Association heavyweight King Hippo opened a new boxing gym this month, saying he…
Biden Shares 20-Minute Post-Debate Kiss With Janna Ryan
DANVILLE, KY—Following Thursday night’s debate at Centre College, Vice President Joe Biden and Janna Ryan, wife of Rep.…
Eloquent Biden Brings Entire Audience To Tears In Debate Stunner
'I'm A Flawed Man, But There Is Love In My Heart' Vice President Says
Ryan Chugs Down Rhino Horn And Bull Semen Shake For Mid-Debate Boost
DANVILLE, KY—Looking to boost his energy before entering the second half of Thursday night’s vice presidential debate,…
Biden Unleashes Torrent Of Vomit On Debate Stage
DANVILLE, KY—During his debate with Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) Thursday night, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly paused…
Security Removes Biden's Rowdy Buddies From Auditorium
DANVILLE, KY—In the middle of tonight’s debate between Joe Biden and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), Centre College security…
Ryan Handed Romney's Latest Political Positions Before Walking On Stage
DANVILLE, KY—Moments before walking onstage for tonight’s vice presidential debate, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) was handed a…
They Can Never Take Away My Memories
Sitting here in Camp Hill state penitentiary just outside of Harrisburg, PA, I begin a new chapter of my life, one in…