In Stunning Change Of Character, Bill Belichick Adopts Half-Dozen Dogs From Humane Society

FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a shocking reversal of behavior, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reportedly adopted a half-dozen dogs from a local humane society Friday, saving the canines from euthanasia. “I just love these pooches,” said Belichick, smiling and chuckling as the six dogs licked at his face. “They’re so cute. I…

Depressed Nation Really Did Not Think It Would Take Them This Long To Get Over Death Of Jack Klugman

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA—More than three weeks after the beloved 90-year-old actor’s passing, the nation was surprised to find itself still mired in a deep depression over the loss of film and sitcom star Jack Klugman, millions of Americans reported Thursday. “I only watched The Odd Couple a few times on cable, and I guess…