Vol 49 Issue 43 - America's Finest News Source | The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

Vol 49 Issue 43

Oct 28 2013

Slideshow10/28/13

The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 28, 2013

Slideshow10/28/13

The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 28, 2013

Oct 27 2013

Photo Finish10/27/13

Packers Warm Up By Rolling Around On Field Clutching Knees

Photo Finish10/27/13

Packers Warm Up By Rolling Around On Field Clutching Knees

Oct 27 2013

Featurette10/27/13

Call Now!

Featurette10/27/13

Call Now!

Oct 27 2013

Featurette10/27/13

Featurette10/27/13

The Walking Dead

Oct 26 2013

Slideshow10/26/13

The Week In Sports – Week Of October 26, 2013

Slideshow10/26/13

The Week In Sports – Week Of October 26, 2013

Oct 26 2013

Sports News In Brief10/26/13

Fan Pissed 15-Yard Penalty Called On Hit That Resulted In Player Being Carted Off Field On Stretcher

Sports News In Brief10/26/13

Fan Pissed 15-Yard Penalty Called On Hit That Resulted In Player Being Carted Off Field On Stretcher

Oct 25 2013

Sportsgraphic10/25/13

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Eight Picks

Sportsgraphic10/25/13

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Eight Picks

Oct 25 2013

Man Still Trying To Find Right Work-Anxiety–Life-Anxiety Balance

Man Still Trying To Find Right Work-Anxiety–Life-Anxiety Balance

Oct 25 2013

American Voices10/25/13

American Voices10/25/13

Kim Jong-Un Receives Honorary Doctorate

Oct 25 2013

Onion Magazine10/25/13

Who Is The Crimson Blazer?

Onion Magazine10/25/13

Who Is The Crimson Blazer?

Oct 25 2013

NASA: ‘We Will Have A Mass Shooting On The Moon By 2055’

NASA: ‘We Will Have A Mass Shooting On The Moon By 2055’

Oct 25 2013

Sports News In Brief10/25/13

Titans Players Evenly Divided Amongst Bud Adams’ Next Of Kin

Sports News In Brief10/25/13

Titans Players Evenly Divided Amongst Bud Adams’ Next Of Kin

Oct 25 2013

News In Photos10/25/13

Vegetarian Option Just Iceberg Lettuce On Bread

News In Photos10/25/13

Vegetarian Option Just Iceberg Lettuce On Bread

Oct 25 2013

American Voices10/25/13

American Voices10/25/13

Company To Offer Balloon Rides To Edge Of Space

Oct 25 2013

Featurette10/25/13

Featurette10/25/13

You Can’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

Oct 24 2013

News in Brief10/24/13

NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day

News in Brief10/24/13

NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day

Oct 24 2013

American Voices10/24/13

American Voices10/24/13

Starbucks Opens First Teahouse, Plans 1,000 More

Oct 24 2013

Sports News In Brief10/24/13

Josh Freeman Takes On Leadership Role To Help Vikings Find Franchise Quarterback

Sports News In Brief10/24/13

Josh Freeman Takes On Leadership Role To Help Vikings Find Franchise Quarterback

Oct 24 2013

News in Brief10/24/13

Panicked Newborn Didn’t Realize Breathing Would Be On Apgar Test

News in Brief10/24/13

Panicked Newborn Didn’t Realize Breathing Would Be On Apgar Test

Oct 24 2013

News In Photos10/24/13

Horrifying Doll Sitting On Neighbor's Porch Whether It's Halloween Or Not

News In Photos10/24/13

Horrifying Doll Sitting On Neighbor's Porch Whether It's Halloween Or Not

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