Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand
The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest…
Bank Of America Introduces New Existential Rewards Credit Card Program
CHARLOTTE, NC—Affirming the company’s commitment to giving back to their loyal customers, Bank of America unveiled its…
Surge Answered With Rally
RALEIGH, NC—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was…
GChat Status Disastrously Left On Visible During Peak Andrea Hours
AUSTIN, TX—Calling it a “catastrophic oversight,” local woman Denise Clark, 27, accidentally left her GChat status as…
What The Internet Will Look Like In 25 Years
This month marks the 25th anniversary of British inventor Tim Berners-Lee’s proposal for a system of hypertext, which…
Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage
A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping…
Half Of Americans Believe In Medical Conspiracy Theories
According to a new survey, nearly half of Americans believe in at least one medical conspiracy theory, among them that…
Thanks For Being So Cool About Everything
As you know, the last few weeks have been kind of crazy around here. Last month, protests in Ukraine ousted the…
Fred Phelps, Man Who Forever Stopped March Of Gay Rights, Dead At 84
TOPEKA, KS—Fred Phelps Sr., the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church and the man who is widely credited with forever…
Mischievous Koch Brothers Trick Beautiful Woman Into Thinking There’s Only One Of Them
NEW YORK—Engaging in the playful mischief that has long been their hallmark, Koch Industries executives Charles and…
Area Man’s Emotional State Completely Dependent On Outcome Of Professional Sporting Event
DAYTON, OH—Noting that he does not possess a financial or otherwise tangible investment in the competitions, sources…
Couple Excited To Start Planning Wedding Expenses
DENVER—Shortly after local woman Mary Ann Burnett accepted the marriage proposal of longtime boyfriend Dave Ellsworth…
Networking Tips
Connecting with professionals in the same field can open up a world of opportunity for job seekers. Here are The…
Facebook Unveils Facial Recognition Technology
Researchers at Facebook previewed their new program called DeepFace, which uses 3D technology to match two images of…
New ‘Star Wars’ Film Set 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’
Disney CEO Bob Iger announced yesterday that the new Star Wars film will be set 30 years after the conclusion of Return…
Hypochondriac Convinced Patient Has Cancer
BRIDGEPORT, CT—During a regularly scheduled appointment at St. Vincent’s Medical Center this afternoon, sources…