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Doctors Reveal Derrick Rose Injuries Leading To Incredible New Advancements In Orthopedic Surgery

CHICAGO—Saying that the 26-year-old’s body has necessitated cutting-edge medical treatment never before thought possible, leading doctors confirmed Thursday that Derrick Rose’s persistent injuries have led to groundbreaking advancements in the field of orthopedic surgery. “We essentially had to throw out all generally…

Temple University Receives Anonymous Donation To Build Center For Discrediting Rape Allegations

PHILADELPHIA—Stipulating that the funds be used for “furthering the invalidation of sexual assault claims wherever they occur,” an anonymous donation received Thursday by Temple University is reportedly intended to be used to build a center for discrediting rape allegations. “The donor, who has chosen to withhold his…