Younger Cousin’s Growth Spurt Throws Off Competitive Balance At Family’s Thanksgiving Touch Football Game

ALEXANDRIA, MN—Admitting their disbelief at how tall and strong the 13-year-old has gotten since last year, members of the local Gunderson family confirmed Thursday that younger cousin Will Gunderson’s growth spurt has completely thrown off the competitive balance of their annual Thanksgiving touch football game.…

Thanksgiving Affords Nation Rare Opportunity To Eat Large Amounts Of Food While Watching Football

WASHINGTON—Noting that the nation’s long wait is now at an end, sources confirmed Thursday that the Thanksgiving holiday will grant millions of Americans the rare chance to eat incredibly large amounts of food while watching football games. “This kind of day doesn’t come around too often, so I’m excited to finally be…