After attending the White House Tribal Nations Conference, Adidas has offered to help 2,000 high schools change their Native American mascots by employing the Adidas design team to recreate their logos and uniforms. What do you think?
MANCHESTER, NH—Reportedly cupping his hands around his eyes for a better look at the cheerful volunteers inside, presidential hopeful Lindsey Graham gazed longingly into the window of fellow candidate Marco Rubio’s bustling New Hampshire campaign headquarters Thursday.
A new study found that despite the prevalence of websites encouraging parents not to vaccinate their children, two-thirds of the sites presented false or disproven information as scientific evidence, while others misinterpreted the findings of peer-reviewed medical papers on the subject. What do you think?
This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history:
DENVER—Noting that many areas are completely unrecognizable compared to when they first moved in years ago, residents of 1102 Larimer Street Apartment 2B told reporters Thursday they’ve begun to worry their well-paid roommate is slowly gentrifying the apartment. “I don’t hold anything against Mark personally for…
The Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, which establishes antidiscrimination protections for LGBT and other citizens, was rejected by voters 61 to 39 percent this week, due in part to the influence of conservative pastors who believe transgender people using public restrooms poses a danger to women, claims that proponents…
LANSING, MI—Having watched with mounting excitement as the pallid, sniffling man made his way toward her register from the pharmacy section, local CVS cashier Hannah Everson told reporters Thursday she was overjoyed at the prospect of accepting a $20 bill from a customer purchasing three different kinds of cough…
WASHINGTON—Calmly stating that they would not even need to think twice about doing so, the nation’s wealthiest individuals ominously reminded the populace during a press conference Wednesday that they could easily drop another $10 billion on the 2016 election. “We want to make it completely clear to voters that…
WASHINGTON—Instructing his colleagues to take a good, long look at what happens to consensus seekers, Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX) publicly displayed the impaled body of a fellow senator at the entrance to the Capitol building Thursday as a warning to anyone thinking about crossing party lines. “You see…
Two books released this week by Italian journalists both detail alleged greed and excess within the highest ranks of the Vatican, including the rampant, unsupervised spending of church donations that allegedly angered Pope Francis, who strives for a more modest Catholic Church. What do you think?
BALTIMORE—After an exhaustive review of financial records from the present back to the cuneiform ledgers of ancient Mesopotamia, economists at Johns Hopkins University released a report Wednesday indicating that human civilization is still many years away from turning a profit.
NEW BRITAIN, CT—Explaining that the article did not meet the publication’s high standards, the editors of The Recorder, Central Connecticut State University’s student newspaper, confirmed Wednesday that the inaccuracy of every single detail forced them to pull the issue’s top story at the last minute. “We at The…
NEW YORK—Referring to the two months of contracted labor as an “opportunity,” online media company RazerWire posted a temporary graphic design freelance gig in the “Careers” section of its website, sources confirmed Wednesday. “We are looking for creative, talented people to join our team and help us grow,” read the…
According to new research, the process by which the earth creates diamonds might be more common than we thought, though many of the resultant gems are microscopic and immaterial to humans. What do you think?
WASHINGTON—Moving a 19th-century armchair away from the mahogany-paneled wall as he rearranged his new office Wednesday, recently elected House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly stumbled upon a half-finished escape tunnel leading out of the Speaker’s chambers. “Oh, man, look at this thing—it must go back 100 feet!” said…
Citing safety concerns, movie theater chain Cinemark is warning audiences ahead of the December 18 opening of Star Wars: Episode VII that they are not permitted to wear masks or face paint as part of any costume, nor can they carry prop weapons to screenings of the film. What do you think?
SIBERIA, RUSSIA—Hailing it as among the most intact and substantial Paleolithic-era finds ever unearthed, a team of archaeologists from University College Dublin announced Wednesday the discovery of an ancient human femur that could make a rich, mouthwatering broth. “Based on our preliminary analysis, this thighbone…
This week, the International Space Station marked 15 years of continuous human residency, during which the crew has expanded the ISS by 10 rooms, performed 1,760 experiments, and completed 189 space walks. What do you think?
