Handmade Banner That Football Team Runs Through Before Game The Closest High School Comes To Supporting Arts

PINE BLUFF, AK—Featuring a consistent budget and students regularly encouraged to take part in its construction, a 6-foot-by-12-foot handmade banner that the Pine Bluff High School football team runs through before every game represents the closest thing the school comes to supporting the arts, sources confirmed…

Man Feeling Pressure To Live Up To Conversation Between Barber And Customer In Next Chair

ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, FL—Growing increasingly tense as he listened to the jovial back-and-forth exchange on his immediate right, local barbershop patron Dan Wilkes reportedly felt immense pressure Friday to live up to the conversation occurring between the stylist and the customer at the next chair. “Ugh, I haven’t said…

Disillusioned Hacker Starting To Feel Like He Has No Impact On American Presidential Election

MOSCOW—Admitting he had become disenchanted with the entire process, 21-year-old Russian hacker Misha Yurasov told reporters Thursday he was starting to feel like he has no impact whatsoever on the U.S. presidential election. “I try to keep involved in politics, but I just don’t know if my hacking into the accounts of…

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Pastor Going On Little Spiel About Seeing How In Love Couple Are Despite Not Knowing Them For Very Long

SKOKIE, IL—Describing how the affection between the pair was apparent the moment he met them, Father Gregory McNeil is said to have delivered a whole little spiel Saturday about how truly in love local couple Colin Brayer and Allison Trudeau are despite him not knowing them for very long. “I’ve only had the pleasure…