CHICAGO—Barely able to communicate through the din of thunderous noise during Game 3 of the World Series, members of the Cleveland Indians admitted Friday to being completely rattled by the deafening sound of the Wrigley Field crowd’s indigestion. “It’s so loud—I’ve never heard anything like this before,” said Indians…
In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?
Vine, a popular mobile app for creating six-second videos, will be shuttered by Twitter in the coming months, a decision following layoffs of 9 percent of Twitter’s workforce. What do you think?
SOMERS, CT—Taking part in the popular autumn tradition, players, coaches, and owners from across the NBA reportedly traveled to several Connecticut farms Friday to pick basketballs. “This is the perfect time of year to walk around a basketball patch with your team and choose a few big orange Spaldings to bring home,”…
WALDPORT, OR—A team of anthropologists announced Friday it had discovered an isolated tribe of blissful Americans who have never been exposed to the current presidential campaign or its candidates, noting that the newly identified population lives contentedly in a remote village completely untouched by the 2016 race.
Donald Trump has stated publicly multiple times that he may not accept the results of the presidential election if Hillary Clinton is named the victor. Here’s what would happen if Trump refuses to concede.
WASHINGTON—Election boards across the country reportedly began installing new voting booths this week that are specially designed to keep citizens locked inside for 45 minutes, forcing them to actually consider the decision they are making before they cast their ballot. “We believe the new booths, which detain voters…
New evidence shows HIV entered the U.S. around 1971, refuting the theory that “Patient Zero,” a French-Canadian flight attendant, transmitted it sexually in the 1980s to men in New York and California. What do you think?
A vandal has removed Donald Trump’s name from his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame using a pickax and a hammer. What do you think?
If elected president, Hillary Clinton will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising her on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Clinton’s inner circle.
SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Saying he had been looking forward to casting his ballot and didn’t want to wait until November 8, local man David Keene, 36, reportedly voted early Thursday in order to get a week of bragging about it out of the way. “It’s much more convenient to go to the polls now and tell every single person I come…
BOULDER, CO—Saying such feelings of desire were observed in nearly every individual they studied, psychologists from the University of Colorado released a report Thursday concluding that it is perfectly natural for people to fantasize about sandwiches other than the one presently in their hands.
Neuroscientists have found that the more a person lies, the bolder those lies become, with low blood flow to the amygdala indicating increased comfort with lying. What do you think?
According to the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report for 2016, women work an average of 39 more days per year than men, or about 50 extra minutes per day. What do you think?
AUSTIN, TX—Anxiously wondering what kind of impression he was leaving on university admissions officials, wealthy father Gordon Fring was said to be waiting restlessly for responses this week after mailing donations to his son’s top college choices. “I sent in contributions to eight different schools all over the…
SAN FRANCISCO—Explaining how their company was poised to usher in a bold new era of innovation, founders of local startup Intuihub told reporters Wednesday that their mission is to explore the intersection of technology and another thing.
If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.
The Nobel Committee has attempted to contact singer-songwriter Bob Dylan multiple times since announcing him the winner of their prize in literature last week, though Dylan has yet to acknowledge the prize at all. What do you think?
