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‘There Are No Good Options In Syria,’ Sighs Man Who Has Devoted 12 Minutes Of Research To Topic

SAGINAW, MI—Shaking his head at the tragic futility of it all, local man Daniel Roth sighed “there are no good options in Syria” Thursday after devoting 12 minutes of casual research to the topic. “It’s just so heartbreaking, but what’s worse is that there doesn’t seem to be any real solution,” said Roth, who skimmed…