Sleepover Guests Can Only Wonder What Mysterious Delights Lie Tucked Inside Off-Limits Room

PEORIA, IL—Wildly speculating about the tantalizing pleasures awaiting just out of reach, sleepover guests at the Rudder household reportedly could only wonder Friday what mysterious delights lie tucked inside the off-limits upstairs room. “Everyone have fun, but we keep that door closed—you can’t go in there,” mother…

Area Mom Convinced 30-Year-Old Daughter Would Be Married By Now If She Just Brushed Her Hair More

LAYTON, UT—Certain it was all that was holding her back from finding the man of her dreams, area mom Janet Kessler told reporters Thursday that she was convinced her 30-year-old daughter Meredith would be married by now if she just brushed her hair more. “You know, if you just took a few extra minutes in the morning…