O.J. Simpson Granted Parole
A Nevada parole board granted O.J. Simpson’s request for early release from prison, where the former NFL running back…
Lovelorn App Aches To Know Your Location
NEW YORK—Languishing without the knowledge of your whereabouts, a lovelorn app was reportedly aching Friday to know…
National Forest Service Recommends Campers Tie Up Their Food To Avoid Attracting Other Visitors
WASHINGTON—Saying that a few simple precautions can help prevent unwanted attention during the night, the U.S. Forest…
A.I. Making It Easier To Falsify Video Evidence
Scientists warn that AI is making it easier to fabricate realistic video of a person speaking, with worrying…
Scientists: Humans Could Likely Outrun T-Rex
Two recent studies have concluded that Tyrannosaurus rex probably ran no faster than 16.8 mph, slow enough for a human…
Shelling From Royal Caribbean’s M.S. ‘Allure’ Sinks Carnival Cruise Vessel That Crossed Into Disputed Waters
COCO CAY, BAHAMAS—In the latest clash between rivals that have long vied for control of highly prized cruise routes, a…
Nation Kept Up All Night By Sound Of Creaking Infrastructure
WASHINGTON—Tossing and turning while the noise continued virtually unabated, the nation was kept up all night by the…
Disgusted Researchers Can’t Even Bring Themselves To Find Out How Much Mayo The Average American Consumes Yearly
WILLIAMSBURG, VA—Almost too queasy to even comment on the study at all, a team of disgusted researchers from the…
Will Smith Cast As Genie In Live-Action ‘Aladdin’ Remake
Disney’s forthcoming live-action remake of their 1992 animated musical “Aladdin” will reportedly star Will Smith as…
Nike Introduces New Line Of Sauce-Wicking Competitive Eating Apparel
BEAVERTON, OR—Promising to revolutionize the way athletes gorge, Nike introduced a new line of sauce-wicking apparel…
Star Tour Operator Points Out Massive Costner Dropping To Awed Passengers
LOS ANGELES—Saying it was the biggest one he’d seen in quite some time, star tour operator Max Peterson on Thursday…
First Female ‘Doctor Who’ Announced
British sci-fi series “Doctor Who” will have its first female lead when “Broadchurch” star Jodie Whittaker takes over…
Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con
San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most…
Historians Find Evidence Of Nation’s Founding Lobbyists’ Campaign To Influence Constitution
WASHINGTON—Drawing on a trove of letters, diaries, and itemized receipts recently donated by private collectors,…
$1 Million In Marijuana Found Smuggled In Ford Fusions
An Ohio car dealership discovered that the Ford Fusions it received from a factory in Mexico contained over a million…
Dive-Bombing Osprey Better Emerge From Lake With Something Awesome To Show For It
BIG PINE KEY, FL—Needing to put up or shut up after that cocky display, a dive-bombing osprey had better emerge from…