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Nabisco Baffled After Trump Administration Gives It $200 Million Contract To Rebuild Puerto Rico’s Roads

EAST HANOVER, NJ—Utterly perplexed as to how they were chosen for the massive project, Nabisco executives reportedly were baffled Thursday after the Trump administration gave it a $200 million contract to rebuild Puerto Rico’s roads. “Although we are honored the president has awarded us this generous contract to help…

‘It’s Simply Bursting With Creative Wonder,’ Says Reviewer Of New Game Where Mario Sometimes Dresses As Chef

LOS ANGELES—Lavishing praise on Nintendo for its fresh and inspired design, a reviewer declared Thursday that a new game in which Mario sometimes dresses as a chef is “simply bursting with creative wonder.” “Every moment of this delightful adventure is overflowing with wildly innovative ideas that take the franchise…