The Inventory

Vol 53 Issue 47

Vol 53 Issue 47

Nick Saban Undergoes Cosmetic Procedure To Unfold Arms

11/25/17 10:56AM

Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce

11/24/17 7:24AM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Giants Players Beg Al Michaels Not To Use Their Real Names During Starting Lineup Introduction

11/23/17 6:00PM

American Voices

American Voices

Americans Buy $81 Million In Pies On Thanksgiving

11/23/17 5:37PM

NBC Camera Fails To Cut Away From Owners Booth In Time As Nude Jerry Jones Leaps Up From Hot Tub Following Touchdown

11/23/17 4:00PM

Total Fucking Idiot Won't Shut Up For Entire Football Game

11/23/17 11:45AM

Hank's Having A Great Time In The Studio Alone On Thanksgiving

11/23/17 11:00AM

Tips For Avoiding Conflict At Thanksgiving

11/23/17 8:30AM

American Voices

American Voices

Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

11/23/17 8:00AM

‘Let’s All Say What We’re Grateful For,’ Says Mother Who Apparently Believes She’s In A Norman Fucking Rockwell Painting

11/23/17 7:15AM

'You're Right' Host Sebastian Moore Remembers Audience Member Who Died From Ecstatic Convulsions Caused By His Epic Takedown Of Kim Jong-Un

11/22/17 10:45AM

Editorial Cartoon

Editorial Cartoon

Pumpkin Pry

11/22/17 9:15AM

American Voices

American Voices

Study: Sex Rarely Causes Heart To Stop

11/22/17 8:58AM

40-Year-Old Has Spiky Hair

11/22/17 8:10AM

Memorable Moments From NFL Thanksgiving Games

11/22/17 8:05AM

The Onion Reviews ‘Coco’

11/22/17 7:45AM

New Historical Evidence Suggests Most Pilgrims Sailed Back Home To Celebrate First Thanksgiving

11/22/17 7:00AM

Tearful Trump Puts Down Ladle, Walks Out Of Soup Kitchen After Learning Charitable Foundation Shutting Down

11/21/17 2:22PM

Charlie Rose Presses Self About Sexual Harassment Allegations In Tense Charlie Rose Interview

11/21/17 2:04PM

American Voices

American Voices

Trump To Spend Thanksgiving At Mar-a-Lago

11/21/17 12:52PM

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