Vol 53 Issue 47 - America's Finest News Source | The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

Vol 53 Issue 47

Nov 25 2017

Photo Finish11/25/17

Nick Saban Undergoes Cosmetic Procedure To Unfold Arms<em></em>

Photo Finish11/25/17

Nick Saban Undergoes Cosmetic Procedure To Unfold Arms

Nov 24 2017

News in Brief11/24/17

Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce<em></em>

News in Brief11/24/17

Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce

Nov 23 2017

Sports News In Brief11/23/17

Giants Players Beg Al Michaels Not To Use Their Real Names During Starting Lineup Introduction<em></em>

Sports News In Brief11/23/17

Giants Players Beg Al Michaels Not To Use Their Real Names During Starting Lineup Introduction

Nov 23 2017

American Voices11/23/17

Americans Buy $81 Million In Pies On Thanksgiving<em></em>

American Voices11/23/17

Americans Buy $81 Million In Pies On Thanksgiving

Nov 23 2017

Photo Finish11/23/17

NBC Camera Fails To Cut Away From Owners Booth In Time As Nude Jerry Jones Leaps Up From Hot Tub Following Touchdown<em></em>

Photo Finish11/23/17

NBC Camera Fails To Cut Away From Owners Booth In Time As Nude Jerry Jones Leaps Up From Hot Tub Following Touchdown

Nov 23 2017

Photo Finish11/23/17

Total Fucking Idiot Won't Shut Up For Entire Football Game<em></em>

Photo Finish11/23/17

Total Fucking Idiot Won't Shut Up For Entire Football Game

Nov 23 2017

VideoThe Morning Sweat11/23/17

Hank's Having A Great Time In The Studio Alone On Thanksgiving<em></em>

VideoThe Morning Sweat11/23/17

Hank's Having A Great Time In The Studio Alone On Thanksgiving

Nov 23 2017

VideoOnion Info Clips11/23/17

Tips For Avoiding Conflict At Thanksgiving<em></em>

VideoOnion Info Clips11/23/17

Tips For Avoiding Conflict At Thanksgiving

Nov 23 2017

American Voices11/23/17

Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving<em></em>

American Voices11/23/17

Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

Nov 23 2017

News in Brief11/23/17

‘Let’s All Say What We’re Grateful For,’ Says Mother Who Apparently Believes She’s In A Norman Fucking Rockwell Painting<em></em>

News in Brief11/23/17

‘Let’s All Say What We’re Grateful For,’ Says Mother Who Apparently Believes She’s In A Norman Fucking Rockwell Painting

Nov 22 2017

VideoYou're Right11/22/17

'You're Right' Host Sebastian Moore Remembers Audience Member Who Died From Ecstatic Convulsions Caused By His Epic Takedown Of Kim Jong-Un<em></em>

VideoYou're Right11/22/17

'You're Right' Host Sebastian Moore Remembers Audience Member Who Died From Ecstatic Convulsions Caused By His Epic Takedown Of Kim Jong-Un

Nov 22 2017

Editorial Cartoon11/22/17

Pumpkin Pry<em></em>

Editorial Cartoon11/22/17

Pumpkin Pry

Nov 22 2017

American Voices11/22/17

Study: Sex Rarely Causes Heart To Stop<em></em>

American Voices11/22/17

Study: Sex Rarely Causes Heart To Stop

Nov 22 2017

News In Photos11/22/17

40-Year-Old Has Spiky Hair<em></em>

News In Photos11/22/17

40-Year-Old Has Spiky Hair

Nov 22 2017

Sportsgraphic11/22/17

Memorable Moments From NFL Thanksgiving Games<em></em>

Sportsgraphic11/22/17

Memorable Moments From NFL Thanksgiving Games

Nov 22 2017

VideoOnion Film Standard11/22/17

The Onion Reviews ‘Coco’<em></em>

VideoOnion Film Standard11/22/17

The Onion Reviews ‘Coco’

Nov 22 2017

News in Brief11/22/17

New Historical Evidence Suggests Most Pilgrims Sailed Back Home To Celebrate First Thanksgiving<em></em>

News in Brief11/22/17

New Historical Evidence Suggests Most Pilgrims Sailed Back Home To Celebrate First Thanksgiving

Nov 21 2017

News in Brief11/21/17

Tearful Trump Puts Down Ladle, Walks Out Of Soup Kitchen After Learning Charitable Foundation Shutting Down<em></em>

News in Brief11/21/17

Tearful Trump Puts Down Ladle, Walks Out Of Soup Kitchen After Learning Charitable Foundation Shutting Down

Nov 21 2017

News in Brief11/21/17

Charlie Rose Presses Self About Sexual Harassment Allegations In Tense Charlie Rose Interview <em></em>

News in Brief11/21/17

Charlie Rose Presses Self About Sexual Harassment Allegations In Tense Charlie Rose Interview

Nov 21 2017

American Voices11/21/17

Trump To Spend Thanksgiving At Mar-a-Lago<em></em>

American Voices11/21/17

Trump To Spend Thanksgiving At Mar-a-Lago

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