Flynn Pleads Guilty To Lying To FBI, But, Worst Of All, Lying To Himself
WASHINGTON—Testifying to a judge that he was prepared to take full responsibility for his egregious actions, former…
‘Sometimes It Feels Like You’re The Only One Who Understands Me,’ Whispers Trump To White House Roach Infestation
WASHINGTON—Saying that its presence had been a valuable source of comfort at a difficult time, President Trump…
Tesla Builds World's Biggest Battery In Australia
After being challenged to build it within 100 days by the local government, Elon Musk announced Monday that Tesla has…
Glitch In Country Allows Citizens To Temporarily Walk Through Tables
WASHINGTON— Saying that they were unable to explain the mysterious error, officials confirmed Friday that a glitch in…
Reindeer Massacre In Norway
Over 100 reindeer have been killed in Norway in just three days after freight trains repeatedly collided with the…
Leah Remini Rediscovers Her Faith In Scientology After Going Through Difficult Point In Life
NEW YORK—Saying she had never felt more complete and was “so grateful to be home,” Kevin Can Wait actress Leah Remini…
‘Avengers 4’ Will Provide Finale To Current Marvel Cinematic Universe
Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige confirmed in an interview this week that the next film in the Avengers series will…
How The NFL Can Increase Viewership
With audience numbers continuing to decline in the 2017 season, Onion Sports examines how the NFL can improve…
Melania Trump Hangs Decayed Badger Carcass Over White House Mantel To Finish Off Traditional Slovenian Christmas Decor
WASHINGTON—Smiling as she found just the right spot for the decoration, Melania Trump hung a decayed badger carcass…
Breitbart Criticized For Publishing Humanizing Profile Of Libtard Beta-Cuck
LOS ANGELES—Blasting the publication for its gentle treatment of the divisive figure, far-right news outlet Breitbart…