Vol 54 Issue 25

NORTH BEACH, MD—Backing away slowly as the prehistoric antediluvian monster scuttled ever closer to his beach…

SAN QUENTIN, CA—Expressing frustration with the endless parade of poorly informed new inmates attempting to…

CHICAGO—Trudging one by one into the tastefully understated newsroom of their architecturally breathtaking…

PALO ALTO, CA—Desperate beyond measure for a final glimpse at the breathtaking social network, 25 million Onion…

WASHINGTON—Frustrated by what she called “obvious misconceptions” related to the Trump administration’s detention of…

PALO ALTO, CA—Decrying the warped nature of humanity’s unfettered arrogance, the Onion Social algorithm delivered a…

A recent Reuters poll found that 93 percent of Americans now side with Onion Social over their own family and…

EARTH—In the latest sign of the new social media platform’s surging popularity, the governments of France, India,…

PALO ALTO, CA—Expressing their deep dissatisfaction with the government’s unfair treatment of their favorite online…

THE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS—In a fierce and heated defense of his conduct while running the world’s largest and most…

JANESVILLE, IA—Indicating that this happens at least once a week, a report released Thursday confirmed that your…

Users of the robust Onion Social community have come together to applaud CEO Jeremy Rosenbaum’s courage in standing…

EVERYWHERE—Claiming that they just couldn’t stand this bullshit anymore, Americans across the country confirmed…

THE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS—Called before the International Criminal Court to address charges of breaching the Geneva…

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