Pope Francis Hastily Condemns Capital Punishment After Vatican Police Announce New Evidence Found In 2014 Stabbing

VATICAN CITY—In a reversal of the Catholic Church’s longstanding doctrine, Pope Francis hastily condemned capital punishment Friday after Vatican police announced the discovery of significant new evidence related to a brutal 2014 stabbing death. “Capital punishment is an attack on the dignity of a person, and it is…

White House Reporters Warn Huckabee Sanders She Harming America And It’s Selling Like Fucking Hotcakes

WASHINGTON—In a statement intended to send a strong message to the White House press secretary in response to her controversial and adversarial remarks regarding the media, press corps reporters united Friday to warn Sarah Huckabee Sanders that her veiled accusations and outright untruths were doing deep, untold harm…

Pope Francis Admits ‘Like 97%’ Of Past Church Leadership ‘Probably Burning In Hell’

VATICAN CITY—In a historic admission of the Catholic Church’s complicated and often shameful history, Pope Francis admitted in an informal public statement Thursday that “like, 97 percent” of Catholic leadership are “probably burning in hell right now.” “Believe me, contemporary Catholics are quite familiar with our…

Advertisement