Unearthed Cave Painting Of Wooly Mammoth, Saber-Tooth Tiger Reveals Humans Have Debated What Things Would Win In A Fight Since 30,000 B.C.

ARDÈCHE, FRANCE—Saying that the recently discovered figurative art sheds new light on prehistoric speculative conflict, archeologists working at France’s Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc Cave announced Friday the discovery of a 300-century-old painting of an adult European mammoth squaring off against five sabre-toothed tigers.…

New Stardew Valley Expansion Allows Player To Shoot Self In Barn After Family Farm Bankrupted By Corporate Agribusiness

LONDON—While adding multiple new gameplay options and challenging story paths to their retro farming RPG Stardew Valley, developer Chucklefish Limited revealed Friday that an upcoming game expansion would allow players to shoot themselves in the barn after losing their farm to corporate agribusiness. “Stardew Valley’s…

Pentagon Officials Listen In Silence As Mike Pence Details Plans For Angel-Guided Defense Weapons System

WASHINGTON—Feigning polite interest throughout the 90-minute meeting, Pentagon officials from all five branches of the armed forces listened in silence Thursday as Mike Pence presented his detailed plans for a state-of-the-art angel-guided weapons system. “Though we are grateful for the vice president’s interest in…