Vol 54 Issue 40 - America's Finest News Source | The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

Vol 54 Issue 40

10/5/18

4:29 PM

American Voices10/5/18

American Voices10/5/18

Atlanta Plans Change To Names Of Streets Honoring Confederacy

10/5/18

2:05 PM

News in Brief10/5/18

News in Brief10/5/18

Woman In Waiting Area Feels Twinge Of Betrayal While Watching Her Hairdresser Making Small Talk With Another

10/5/18

1:50 PM

American Voices10/5/18

American Voices10/5/18

U.N. Court Orders U.S. To Ease Sanctions Against Iran

10/5/18

1:01 PM

News in Brief10/5/18

News in Brief10/5/18

Senator Feinstein Wondering If Now A Good Time To Disclose 7 Highly Credible Murder Allegations Against Kavanaugh She Received Weeks Ago

10/5/18

12:20 PM

News in Brief10/5/18

News in Brief10/5/18

Kavanaugh Blasted For Destroying Reputation Of Good Man

10/5/18

11:34 AM

News in Brief10/5/18

News in Brief10/5/18

Trump Wakes Up Covered In Dozens Of Small Cuts After Being Chased Through Dreams By Razor-Blade-Fingered Robert Mueller

10/5/18

11:32 AM

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/5/18

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/5/18

Should The Houston Texans Change Their Crude, Offensive Nickname?

10/5/18

11:09 AM

News in Brief10/5/18

News in Brief10/5/18

Art Experts Confirm Guggenheim Museum A Forgery

10/5/18

10:59 AM

Onion Magazine10/5/18

Onion Magazine10/5/18

This Is Angela, She’ll Be Training With Us For This Issue

10/5/18

10:34 AM

News in Brief10/5/18

News in Brief10/5/18

Annoying Guy In Movie Theater Constantly Screaming ‘Get Out Of There, You Idiot’ At Bradley Cooper’s Character In ‘A Star Is Born’

10/5/18

9:54 AM

News In Photos10/5/18

News In Photos10/5/18

High School Kicker Finds It Helpful To Imagine Football As Object That Needs To Be Kicked Through Goal Posts In Order To Gain Points

10/4/18

5:09 PM

News in Brief10/4/18

News in Brief10/4/18

Alan Alda Realizes It’s Less Important Than What’s Going On, But Wonders If People Know He’s Getting SAG Life Achievement Award

10/4/18

4:29 PM

American Voices10/4/18

American Voices10/4/18

Trump Received At Least $413 Million From His Father

10/4/18

4:23 PM

News in Brief10/4/18

News in Brief10/4/18

Dick Durbin Wakes Up Chained To Radiator With Instructions To Saw Open Own Stomach To Access Kavanaugh Report

10/4/18

3:30 PM

Infographic10/4/18

Infographic10/4/18

Top Candidates For The 2018 Nobel Peace Prize

10/4/18

2:52 PM

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/4/18

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/4/18

Let’s Avoid The Brett Favre Comparisons Until Patrick Mahomes Can Consistently Send Dick Pics To Reporters

10/4/18

2:33 PM

News in Brief10/4/18

News in Brief10/4/18

World’s Leading Scientists Nervously Stand Next To Poster-Board Displays As Nobel Committee Walks Through Gymnasium

10/4/18

12:18 PM

News in Brief10/4/18

News in Brief10/4/18

Tour Guide One Stop Behind Clearly Giving More Interesting Tour

10/4/18

12:12 PM

Video5 Things10/4/18

Video5 Things10/4/18

5 Things To Know About ‘Venom’

10/4/18

11:59 AM

American Voices10/4/18

American Voices10/4/18

Trump To Press: ‘I Consider You Part Of The Democratic Party’

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