Vol 54 Issue 43 - America's Finest News Source | The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

Vol 54 Issue 43

Oct 28 2018

News in Brief10/28/18

Sunday School Teacher Can Already Tell Which Ones Going To Hell<em></em>

News in Brief10/28/18

Sunday School Teacher Can Already Tell Which Ones Going To Hell

Oct 27 2018

News In Photos10/27/18

Slug Just Taking It Easy Today<em></em>

News In Photos10/27/18

Slug Just Taking It Easy Today

Oct 26 2018

American Voices10/26/18

‘Red Dead Redemption 2’ Released<em></em>

American Voices10/26/18

‘Red Dead Redemption 2’ Released

Oct 26 2018

News in Brief10/26/18

Trump Boys Smash Father’s Cell Phone To Search For Chinese Spies<em></em>

News in Brief10/26/18

Trump Boys Smash Father’s Cell Phone To Search For Chinese Spies

Oct 26 2018

CDC Introduces ‘Raw Dog’ The STI Pup To Educate Children About The Dangers Of Unprotected Sex<em></em>

CDC Introduces ‘Raw Dog’ The STI Pup To Educate Children About The Dangers Of Unprotected Sex

Oct 26 2018

News in Brief10/26/18

Saudis Tout Hundreds Of Yemeni Lives Saved By Spending So Much Time Focused On Killing Khashoggi<em></em>

News in Brief10/26/18

Saudis Tout Hundreds Of Yemeni Lives Saved By Spending So Much Time Focused On Killing Khashoggi

Oct 26 2018

News In Photos10/26/18

Fox News Now Just Airing Continuous Blood-Red Screen With Disembodied Voice Chanting ‘They’re Coming To Kill You’

News In Photos10/26/18

Fox News Now Just Airing Continuous Blood-Red Screen With Disembodied Voice Chanting ‘They’re Coming To Kill You’

Oct 26 2018

Infographic10/26/18

Pros And Cons Of Genetic Testing For Ancestry<em></em><em></em>

Infographic10/26/18

Pros And Cons Of Genetic Testing For Ancestry

Oct 26 2018

News in Brief10/26/18

Report: Logan’s Mom Put Him On A Diet<em></em>

News in Brief10/26/18

Report: Logan’s Mom Put Him On A Diet

Oct 26 2018

American Voices10/26/18

‘Kavanaugh Effect’ More Likely To Benefit Democrats Than Republicans<em></em>

American Voices10/26/18

‘Kavanaugh Effect’ More Likely To Benefit Democrats Than Republicans

Oct 26 2018

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/26/18

Will The Pacers Ever Be Able To Return To The Glory Of Their 2004 Brawl With Fans?<em></em>

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/26/18

Will The Pacers Ever Be Able To Return To The Glory Of Their 2004 Brawl With Fans?

Oct 26 2018

News in Brief10/26/18

Buzz Aldrin Recalls How Easy It Was Getting To The Moon<em></em>

News in Brief10/26/18

Buzz Aldrin Recalls How Easy It Was Getting To The Moon

Oct 26 2018

Onion Magazine10/26/18

The School Bus: Is It Coming For Our Kids?<em></em>

Onion Magazine10/26/18

The School Bus: Is It Coming For Our Kids?

Oct 25 2018

American Voices10/25/18

Explosive Device Found In Mail Sent To Biden, Obama<em></em>

American Voices10/25/18

Explosive Device Found In Mail Sent To Biden, Obama

Oct 25 2018

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/25/18

Does Amari Cooper’s Experience Playing Under A Terrible Head Coach Make Him A Perfect Fit For The Cowboys?<em></em>

VideoThe Morning Sweat10/25/18

Does Amari Cooper’s Experience Playing Under A Terrible Head Coach Make Him A Perfect Fit For The Cowboys?

Oct 25 2018

News in Brief10/25/18

Wildest Friend Called Up From Bench To Help Woman Get Over Breakup<em></em>

News in Brief10/25/18

Wildest Friend Called Up From Bench To Help Woman Get Over Breakup

Oct 25 2018

News In Photos10/25/18

Mohawked, Aviator-Wearing Robert De Niro Idles Cab Outside Suspected Bomb-Maker’s Home<em></em>

News In Photos10/25/18

Mohawked, Aviator-Wearing Robert De Niro Idles Cab Outside Suspected Bomb-Maker’s Home

Oct 25 2018

News in Brief10/25/18

Midterms Predicted To Have Largest Voter In Decades<em></em>

News in Brief10/25/18

Midterms Predicted To Have Largest Voter In Decades

Oct 25 2018

American Voices10/25/18

42% Of New Cancer Patients Lose Their Life Savings<em></em>

American Voices10/25/18

42% Of New Cancer Patients Lose Their Life Savings

Oct 25 2018

News in Brief10/25/18

Study Finds Effectiveness Of Medical Treatment Skyrockets When Doctor Acts Like Condescending Dick<em></em>

News in Brief10/25/18

Study Finds Effectiveness Of Medical Treatment Skyrockets When Doctor Acts Like Condescending Dick

Advertisement