WASHINGTON—In a move greatly reducing the possibility that the measure will receive support in the lower chamber of…
CAPE ELIZABETH, ME—In what is being described as the most ruthless act of bovine–crustacean violence in years, local…
WALTHAM, MA—Saying that if the U.S. government would not act it was time to take matters into their own hands, defense…
WASHINGTON—As the U.S. military awaited a potential response to its recent series of targeted airstrikes, sources…
WASHINGTON—Cutting the commander-in-chief off mid-sentence and demanding that he give them a straight answer, U.S.…
ARLINGTON, VA—In a historic decree proclaiming the time had come for blood to be shed upon every corner of the Earth…
WALTHAM, MA—Heralding its latest product as a breakthrough in artificial-intelligence technology, defense contractor…
WASHINGTON—Confirming that the 71-year-old had officially been determined fit to carry out his duty, officials from the…
WASHINGTON—Fumbling over his words before meandering into an anecdote about his newest golf course, sources confirmed…
WASHINGTON—In an effort to alleviate her sorrow after the tragic event, President Donald Trump reportedly comforted the…
FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Saying he “never could have imagined” he would have the opportunity to follow directly in his father’s…
ARLINGTON, VA—Saying the United States owed nothing less to future generations, President Trump vowed during a…
FORT MYER, VA—Calling the war in Afghanistan the nation’s highest priority until he decides at some point that it is…
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Waving flags and breaking into cheers the moment they spotted the veteran, dozens of joyous citizens…
THE HEAVENS—Blowing the lid off an ongoing plot to help destabilize His Eternal Kingdom, highly placed sources within…
WASHINGTON—Dismissing concerns that the controversial interrogation method constituted torture, President Donald Trump…
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