NRA Says Mass Shootings Just The Unfortunate Price Of Protecting People’s Freedom To Commit Mass Shootings
FAIRFAX, VA—In the aftermath of a shooting in Las Vegas that left at least 58 people dead and more than 500 wounded,…
Concerned NRA Official Rushes Out To Purchase Congressman Following Mass Shooting
WASHINGTON—Admitting he felt “scared and nervous” after the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history at an Orlando, FL…
NRA Visits Colorado Police Evidence Room To Check Up On Rifle Used In Planned Parenthood Shooting
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—After learning that the gun had been involved in a violent attack that left three dead, National…
Unstable Man Plots To Bring Guns To Schools
FAIRFAX, VA—According to sources, local man Wayne LaPierre, an individual with a long history of unstable and dangerous…
Emotional Wayne LaPierre Honors Victims Of Background Checks
WASHINGTON—In an emotionally charged press conference addressing gun control legislation, NRA vice president Wayne…
When Will These Senseless Gun Debates Come To An End?
We live in a great country. Between our democratic values, constitutional freedoms, and rich traditions, Americans…
Wayne LaPierre Goes On Harpooning Spree To Prove Some Sort Of Point
FAIRFAX, VA—In what sources said was most likely an attempt to prove some kind of point about something, a…
Frustrated Wayne LaPierre Thought Murder Of 20 Children By Crazed Gunman Would Have Blown Over By Now
FAIRFAX, VA—More than three weeks after the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, annoyed NRA president Wayne…
NRA: 'Please Try To Remember All The Wonderful Things Guns Do For Us Every Day'
FAIRFAX, VA—In the wake of last evening’s horrific shooting that killed 12 in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado,…
NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything
‘Yeah, Something Like 1,000 Dead Kids,’ Reports Spokesperson