Sep 22News In Photos9/22/20News In Photos9/22/20‘Then The Pandemic Hit And We Decided It Was Too Scary To Break Up’ Conclude Heartfelt Wedding Vows In 2022
Sep 17News in Brief9/17/20News in Brief9/17/20Couple Thankfully Not Well-Liked Enough To Have Superspreader WeddingPORTSMOUTH, NH—Following the bride-and-groom-to-be’s decision to celebrate their union with loved ones despite the…
May 5News In Photos5/5/20News In Photos5/5/20Bride Only One Not Relieved About Postponed Wedding Date
Dec 6 2019News in Brief12/6/19News in Brief12/6/19Sight Of His Beautiful Bride Walking Down Aisle Fills Man With Overwhelming Happyish FeelingPORTLAND, ME—Barely able to contain the slight approval on his face, local groom Brad Donnelly confirmed Friday that…
Nov 4 2019News in Brief11/4/19News in Brief11/4/19Report: It Going To Take A Lot More Than ‘Love Shack’ To Bring Wedding Guest Out To Dance FloorCARMEL, IN—In a report that shed new light into “How to really get this party going,” wedding guest Melissa Ramirez…
Aug 16 2019News in Brief8/16/19News in Brief8/16/19Weird Wedding Has Some Kind Of Religious ThemeGREENFIELD, MA—Citing the ornate icons adorning the walls and the strange chanting in an unfamiliar language,…
Aug 15 2019News In Photos8/15/19News In Photos8/15/19Happy Bride And Groom Set Ablaze At Viking Wedding
May 21 2019News in Brief5/21/19News in Brief5/21/19Trump Demands Investigation Into Whether Clintons Gave Him Non-Registry Wedding Gift In 2005WASHINGTON—Explaining that such a miscarriage of justice would not be tolerated under his watch, President Donald…
May 21 2019News in Brief5/21/19News in Brief5/21/19Wedding Experts Say Engagement Ring Should Cost At Least Three Diamond Miners’ LivesNEW YORK—Maintaining that the jewelry was absolutely essential in communicating trust and commitment to your…
Dec 5 2018News in Brief12/5/18News in Brief12/5/18Nervous Maid Of Honor Just Stringing Together Random Maya Angelou QuotesCLEVELAND, OH—Relying completely on the acclaimed poet’s platitudes on life, love, and loss, anxiety-ridden wedding…
Oct 16 2018VideoOnion Info Clips10/16/18 VideoOnion Info Clips10/16/18Tips For Giving A Great Wedding Toast
Aug 4 2018News in Brief8/4/18News in Brief8/4/18Grandmother Can’t Believe She Hung On This Long For Granddaughter’s Lame-Ass WeddingKANSAS CITY, MO—Lamenting that the ceremony was an absolute shit show, local grandmother Shirley Ingle could not…
May 31 2018News in Brief5/31/18News in Brief5/31/18David’s Bridal Introduces New Line Of Whore-Red Dresses For Wicked, Impure Divorcées’ Shameful Second WeddingsCONSHOHOCKEN, PA—In an effort to meet the specific needs of even its most reprehensible customers, David’s Bridal…
May 14 2018News in Brief5/14/18News in Brief5/14/18Couple Just Wants Small Ceremony In Public Park With Close Friends And Shirtless Stranger Hanging Around TreeSANDY SPRINGS, GA—Speaking to reporters ahead of their planned June wedding, engaged couple Sarah Hargrove and Brian…
Mar 21 2018News in Brief3/21/18News in Brief3/21/18Bride Has To Admit It’d Be Pretty Exciting If Someone Objected At WeddingPOMONA, CA—Acknowledging that although she has always imagined her special day as something out of a storybook,…
Feb 7 2018News in Brief2/7/18News in Brief2/7/18Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Debating Between Hawaiian Luau- Or ‘X-Files’-Themed WeddingLONDON—Claiming they wanted a ceremony that reflected who they really are as a couple, Prince Harry and Meghan…
Nov 27 2017News in Brief11/27/17News in Brief11/27/17Showerin’ Real Good Continues To Top Bridal Style Trends Of 2017NEW YORK—Saying there was no substitute for cleaning up top-to-bottom with soap and everything, showerin’ real good…
Sep 29 2017News in Brief9/29/17News in Brief9/29/17Wedding Caterer Likes To Throw In Extra Potatoes If It Seems Like Couple Genuinely In LoveDALLAS—Calling it his own personal blessing to the bride and groom, wedding caterer Isaac Bellacosa told reporters…