‘Once They Put Me On Cheeses, I Will Finally Be Happy,’ Says Costco Employee Handing Out Free Vienna Sausage Samples

WINCHESTER, VA—Attributing her current apathy to being stuck in the wholesaler’s remote canned goods aisle, Costco employee Tanya Fairbanks quietly remarked Friday that “Once they put me on cheeses, I will finally be happy,” as she handed out free samples of Vienna sausage. “I used to think that if I could just get…

HR Director Doesn’t Know What It Is About Her That Makes People Want To Unload All Their Problems

NEW YORK—Expressing frustration after yet another company employee visited her office with an issue, human resources director Sally Kent told reporters Thursday that she doesn’t know what exactly it is about her that makes people want to unload all their problems. “I have absolutely no idea why they all want to lay…

Troubling Report Finds Millions Of Americans Forced To Make Ends Meet By Getting Up And Going To Work Every Day

WASHINGTON—In a sobering new report that lays bare a hard truth about today’s economy, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics revealed Monday that many Americans have no choice but to make ends meet by getting up and going to work every day. “There are more than 100 million adults in this nation who, to provide for…

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