Dec 22Slideshow12/22/20Slideshow12/22/20How People Around The World Celebrate ChristmasFrom fashioning straw yule goats in Scandinavia to the Feast of the Seven Fishes in southern Italy, Christmas is…
Oct 1Onion Magazine10/1/20Onion Magazine10/1/20A United Italy: Could It Happen, And If It Already Did, Why Didn’t They Feel Comfortable Telling Us?
Sep 22News in Brief9/22/20News in Brief9/22/20Xi Jinping Jails Chinese Tycoon For Failing To Use Sandwich Method Of Constructive Criticism When Condemning HimBEIJING—In an effort to crack down on overly harsh dissent, President Xi Jinping jailed Chinese real estate tycoon…
Jul 24Infographic7/24/20Infographic7/24/20How To Ease U.S.–China TensionsThe Trump administration ordered China to close its Houston, TX consulate as COVID-19, trade battles, and other…
Jun 1News in Brief6/1/20News in Brief6/1/20Sweatshop Worker Devastated To Hear Jacket She Worked So Hard On LootedSHENZHEN, CHINA—Upset about the theft of one of the thousands of garments she had sewn, sweatshop worker Li Chen was…
Apr 27News In Photos4/27/20News In Photos4/27/20North Korean Media Report Kim Jong-Un In Best Health Of Life After Receiving Hundreds Of Heart Transplants
Apr 17Sports News In Brief4/17/20Sports News In Brief4/17/20Taiwanese Robot Baseball Fan Ejected For Yelling Slurs At Pitch CameraTAOYUAN, TAIWAN—Shouting “Commodore” as nearby automatons were forced to cover their small peripheral’s microphones,…
Apr 15News in Brief4/15/20News in Brief4/15/20Pope Francis Finally Close To Finishing BibleVATICAN CITY—Expressing surprise at how productive he had been during the pandemic, Pope Francis told reporters…
Apr 14News in Brief4/14/20News in Brief4/14/20Mike Pompeo Warns Iran Stockpiling Tubes To Build VentilatorWASHINGTON—Declaring that the coronavirus pandemic should not affect America’s hardline stance against the Middle…
Feb 14Infographic2/14/20Infographic2/14/20A Guide To The USMCA Trade DealThe United States–Mexico–Canada Agreement, which would replace NAFTA as the act governing North American trade, has…
Jan 13 2020News in Brief1/13/20News in Brief1/13/20Homeless, Disheveled Prince Harry Spotted Eating Out Of Garbage Can Just 24 Hours After Stepping Away From MonarchyNORTHAMPTON, ENGLAND—According to eyewitnesses at the scene, a homeless and thoroughly disheveled Prince Harry was…
Jan 8 2020News in Brief1/8/20News in Brief1/8/20Dumb Tourists In Paris Gawking At Splendor Of Greatest Architectural Feats In Human HistoryPARIS—Stopping every few blocks to tilt back their heads in wonder, idiotic hick tourists on their first visit to…
Dec 13 2019News in Brief12/13/19News in Brief12/13/19Tokyo Drivers Gridlocked As 12-Legged Catbus Overturns On HighwayTOKYO—Finding themselves caught in a grisly tangle of wrecked vehicles and reeking with the unmistakable odor of…
Dec 5 2019News in Brief12/5/19News in Brief12/5/19Boris Johnson Worried Anti-Semitism Accusations Against Labour Party Will Hurt Tories’ Hold On Bigot VoteLONDON—Monitoring polls and news coverage of the upcoming elections, U.K. prime minister Boris Johnson reportedly…
Nov 21 2019News in Brief11/21/19News in Brief11/21/19Congress Approves $3 Billion In Military Aid For Netanyahu To Defend Self Against Israeli Justice SystemWASHINGTON—Justifying the expenditure as necessary to preserve the only bastion of democracy in the Middle East,…
Nov 13 2019News in Brief11/13/19News in Brief11/13/19Paraguay Panics After Discovering Rich Deposit Of Natural ResourcesTORO PAMPA, PARAGUAY—Cursing their luck after scientists confirmed their nation’s worst fears had been realized,…
Nov 11 2019News in Brief11/11/19News in Brief11/11/19Officials Say Outbreak Of Australian Wildfire May Have Spread From Engulfed Passenger Traveling From U.S.CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA—Calling the individual “patient zero” for the lethal strain of flames currently raging across…
Nov 6 2019Infographic11/6/19Infographic11/6/19Timeline Of U.S.–Syria RelationsThe U.S. decision to pull troops out of Syria that were assisting rebel forces has cleared the way for Turkey to…
Aug 23 2019Infographic8/23/19Infographic8/23/19Impact Of The Massive Fires In The Amazon RainforestMassive human-caused fires in the Amazon are burning the rainforest at a record rate, stoking global concerns about…