Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Ever wanted to see the world renowned Metropolitan Museum of Art but not pay any money? Click through and join The Onion on a digital tour, where you’ll get everything from the live experience, plus much less.

Advertisement

2 / 23

Mastaba Tomb of Perneb

Mastaba Tomb of Perneb

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Originating between the years 2381-2323 B.C., this ancient Egyptian chamber can be rented on Airbnb for $499 a night on weeknights and $599 on weekends.

Advertisement

3 / 23

Madonna and Child, Duccio di Buoninsegna

Madonna and Child, Duccio di Buoninsegna

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Purchased in 2004 for $50 million, art critics agree, for that kind of money, it should’ve had some nudity.

Advertisement

4 / 23

The Penitence of Saint Jerome, Joachim Patinir

The Penitence of Saint Jerome, Joachim Patinir

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

This triptych painting by Patinir’s includes 10 mistakes for the viewer to discover. Can you find them all? (Flip the triptych upside down to see the answers!)

Advertisement

5 / 23

Temple of Dendur

Temple of Dendur

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

The Temple of Dendur has been housed at the Met ever since it was constructed as set dressing for the 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally.

Advertisement

6 / 23

Preparing for Christmas (Plucking Turkeys), Francis William Edmonds

Preparing for Christmas (Plucking Turkeys), Francis William Edmonds

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Painted in 1851, this unmistakably American painting shows the moment just before three men scrapped the homemade menu and went to Boston Market.

Advertisement

7 / 23

The Dance Class, Edgar Degas

The Dance Class, Edgar Degas

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Shortly after capturing this iconic image of dancers preparing in the dressing room of the grand Paris Opéra, Degas was discovered behind a curtain and forcibly told to leave.

Advertisement

8 / 23

Gauntlet for the Right Hand, Belonging to the Armor of Don Alonzo Pérez de Guzman el Bueno (1550–1619), Count of Niebla and Duke of Medina-Sidonia

Gauntlet for the Right Hand, Belonging to the Armor of Don Alonzo Pérez de Guzman el Bueno (1550–1619), Count of Niebla and Duke of Medina-Sidonia

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

This bad boy has been sitting in the lost-and-found bin since 1580.

Advertisement

9 / 23

The Outside

The Outside

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

It is totally free to see the outside of the museum, and you should be able to just hang out there for a pretty long time before someone asks you to move along. Just throwing that out there.

Advertisement

10 / 23

Human-headed winged lion (lamassu)

Human-headed winged lion (lamassu)

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

This magnificent Assyrian work is thought to date from a time before sculptors had any idea what a human being looked like.

Advertisement

11 / 23

Funerary Figure of Akhenaten

Funerary Figure of Akhenaten

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

This piece demonstrates the beliefs of Ancient Egyptians about the afterlife, the importance of the Book of the Dead during the Armana Period, and it also looks really great illuminated by the soda machine down the hall.

Advertisement

12 / 23

$14 Hot Dog

$14 Hot Dog

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Stationed outside the front entrance, this installation is a commentary on the absurdities of commerce in and around the art world.

Advertisement

13 / 23

Toilet, Kohler

Toilet, Kohler

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

There is a toilet on the second floor that you can piss and shit in.

Advertisement

14 / 23

The Card Players, Paul Cézanne

The Card Players, Paul Cézanne

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Cézanne would pose as a painter, innocently capturing a friendly card game on canvas—all the while making note of each player’s tell until it was his turn to play a hand.

Advertisement

15 / 23

Marble head of a Ptolemaic queen, Greek

Marble head of a Ptolemaic queen, Greek

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

This accurate rendering of a female queen has helped art historians determine that women started forming heads circa 270 - 250 B.C. and that it would be centuries until they started developing other body parts.

Advertisement

16 / 23

The Robert Lehman Collection

The Robert Lehman Collection

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Kind of tacky, but it’s on the wall just in case he comes by.

Advertisement

17 / 23

Alan Alda

Alan Alda

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

The holy grail itself, Alan Alda has lived in the Met since curators transferred him from the Guggenheim in 1962.

Advertisement

18 / 23

By The Seashore, Auguste Renoir

By The Seashore, Auguste Renoir

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

Renoir is known for his masterpieces of impressionism created primarily by sneaking up on confused women and quickly painting them before they could run away

Advertisement

19 / 23

Still Life with Apples and a Pot of Primroses, Paul Cézanne

Still Life with Apples and a Pot of Primroses, Paul Cézanne

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

This 1890 work by Cézanne comes from the height of what historians refer to as his “Boring Period.”

Advertisement

20 / 23

Confused, elderly man, circa 1945

Confused, elderly man, circa 1945

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

If he belongs to you, please retrieve him immediately from the Egyptian wing.

Advertisement

21 / 23

Met Café Mozzarella Panini

Met Café Mozzarella Panini

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

The real artist here is Gary with that panini press. Stop by the café for one of your own today!

Advertisement

22 / 23

Jug Decorated with Dolphins and Birds, Middle Kingdom or Second Intermediate Period

Jug Decorated with Dolphins and Birds, Middle Kingdom or Second Intermediate Period

Illustration for article titled Take A Virtual Tour Of The Met With ‘The Onion’

What more can we say?

Advertisement

23 / 23