As qualifying rages on, we look at Team USA's hapless World Cup history.
1891 and 1895: United States athletes invent two much more entertaining games with a soccer ball
1950: Unaware they could take on new players to replace old ones, the U.S. loses 12-1 with the same team that played in 1930's World Cup
1954: One of the most talented U.S. squads in history is still unable to qualify after failing to send in its World Cup application on time
1958: The world knew the U.S. team was destined for failure when it unveiled its one-name soccer sensation, "Bert"
1986: The U.S. fails to qualify after Paul Caligiuri hits what is commonly regarded as the worst corner kick in the history of the world
1988: This year is considered the rebirth of American soccer after enough people sign up to have a national team
1990: The United States is quickly eliminated after losing to the United States 1-0
1994: This incarnation of the U.S. team probably did okay because people still kind of recognize the names Tony Meola and Alexi Lalas
1999: The U.S. women's team wins the World Cup