QUINCY, MA—Explaining that it was important to learn the proper fundamentals, local tee ball coach Brendan McShay reportedly reminded players Wednesday to use both hands when sobbing into their glove. “Remember, guys, you want to get both your gloved hand and your throwing hand up to your face when you’re crying to really show everyone you’re super upset,” McShay told his team of 5- and 6-year-olds following a game in which players repeatedly demonstrated poor crying form by forgetting to bend their knees before throwing themselves forlornly on the ground. “We want to make sure that the weeping we do in practice translates into games. Okay, everyone? Maybe one day you’ll be able to sob into your glove you’ve put over your face to hide your tears without any hands at all, but you should master the two-handed technique first. Now, position your feet shoulder-width apart, keep those knees nice and limber, and turn your face away in shame before raising both hands up. Then begin screaming.” After leading his players through reps of two-handed crying, McShay exhibited the proper technique for striking the tee with the bat in anger after repeatedly failing to make contact with the ball.
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